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Help - urgently need some guidance AND a tough family/divorce lawyer in SE London.

(11 Posts)
CaptainM Wed 14-Sep-16 12:56:20

Can anyone recommend a solicitor who can help deal with a very strong-willed and deceitful STBXH? We have tried mediation without success as he is fighting to have 50:50 shared parenting (to avoid CM), is refusing to move out of house (rental which he transferred to my name so he no longer has to pay ex) and is causing immense emotional and psychological distress to me and DC. He is now pushing himself on the children as much as possible and trying to push me away from them, to support his claim that he is more involved. Problem is he works for himself so it's easier for him to do that.

I have no intention of getting in the way of him having a strong relationship/regular contact with dc. I just think they're too young to be whisked off to a new home (which he is refusing to find until I agree to his 50:50 request), so soon after we've informed them of the separation. The only reason I agreed to take over tenancy for our house (for just 6 months, for now) was to provide them a level of stability whilst we're going through the changes.

I also believe he is siphoning money away and is intentionally running up debts, in an attempt to alter the information he provides in his Form E (which he is intentionally delaying).

He's refused to discuss finances (even through mediation) unless I agree to his 50:50 childcare request and has taken away our marriage certificate to prevent/delay my filing of the divorce petition.

I've met with a solicitor but I think I need someone tougher as my ex is on a mission to destroy me, and doesn't mind if he gets destroyed in the process too.

Probably helps to state that I instigated the separation after years of emotional/mental abuse, lack of transparency and controlling behaviour.

Any tips/information and recommendation of solicitors hugely appreciated/needed!

slug Wed 14-Sep-16 13:20:35

PM'd you

rightsforwomen Wed 14-Sep-16 22:51:35

Unless there are safe guarding issues then 50:50 is the starting point for residency of the children.

rightsforwomen Wed 14-Sep-16 22:52:45

Form E asks for 6 months of financial disclosure. For how long has he been siphoning money?

rightsforwomen Wed 14-Sep-16 22:53:37

Form E asks for 6 months of financial disclosure. For how long has he been siphoning money?

CaptainM Wed 14-Sep-16 23:07:48

Certainly in the last 6 months although he's fighting to delay financial disclosure.

TheOriginalFV45 Wed 14-Sep-16 23:17:51

Read my thread in Relationships (The ignoring....gaaaa). My situation is very similar. You have a fight on your hands I'm afraid.

CaptainM Thu 15-Sep-16 06:46:28

I started reading that thread last night. Incredibly similar events! I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel!

MoggyP Thu 15-Sep-16 06:58:16

I don't come up with a recommendation for a lawyer for you, but thrown in a couple of thoughts as they are arguments you will need to counter effectively.

a) it is prudent to wait until the shape of financial settlement is known before committing to a long term new home
b) stability also means a proper relationship with both parents, and getting on with the new pattern. Is there any reason, other than your disinclination, not to begin as it's to go on with 50/50?

FV45 Thu 15-Sep-16 14:17:40

Thanks captain. There is light, I just can't reach it yet. It's not going out, but it does keep moving further away.

Sorry about all the name changes, comes with the ermm life situation and my mood.

CaptainM Thu 15-Sep-16 15:12:59

Totally get it! Hang in there and know you're not alone.

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