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Help working out maintenance

(13 Posts)
Cat2014 Sat 10-Sep-16 21:58:26

Dh and I are separating, I am trying to be amicable and nice, he is struggling with this. However we are trying not to involve solicitors etc more than necessary.
I work part time (decided between us a long time ago- I would be the main childcare and he would concentrate on his career). He wants 50:50 outside of work hours (so 4 evenings/nights then 3 evenings each week) but says he cannot help with after school care apart from dropping him to an activity once a week from school. I just want to check that even though nights would be 50:50 then I would still be entitled to maintenance? As obviously my earning potential will be reduced as I can't work full time. Basically - is it worked out on just nights, or does the majority of after school care falling to me make a difference? He earns twice what i earn anyway so I don't want to agree to 50:50 nights if legally he wouldn't have to pay me any maintenance.
Thanks

AppleJac Sat 10-Sep-16 22:11:19

Its how many nights he has them not what he does with the kids during the day.

What is the point in him having alot of nights a week when he wont actually see them as they are sleep as he wont spend anytime with them during the day on his nights due to his work commitments?

Unsurechicken Sat 10-Sep-16 22:13:00

Maybe he wants 50/50 nights so he doesnt have to pay csa? What do the kids want?

Dogcatred Sat 10-Sep-16 22:45:31

It's nights.
For those of us women who work full time an important issue is childcare cost. if it costs say £30 a day for someone to collect children from school take them to your home, give them their meal and you get back from work at say 6 or 7pm x 5 days a week that's about £650 a month. In many couples where both work that sum would be paid as to half each. He should not have his cake and eat it.
Or you could share an au pair who moves between you and him and you each pay half of so you can both work full time.

Cat2014 Sun 11-Sep-16 00:43:23

Thank you, that's useful. I think I should ask for 4 nights me 3 nights him, or 50 50 but including school time, he won't go for the second one so at least for the first option he legally has to give me maintenance. How much should I get from
Him roughly if 3 and 4? He earns about £2k a month after tax and I earn £900

Rumtopf Sun 11-Sep-16 01:21:43

What about school holidays? How much of those is he planning to cover? There are approx 13 weeks of the year the children aren't at school.
Can you find the csa calculator online?

I think for every 50 or so nights a year they have the kids they get a 1/7th reduction on child maintenance.
So, if he's having the children 3 night every week for 39 weeks of the year (term-time) that's 117 days. 4 weeks of school holidays is 28 nights, added on is 145 nights out of 352. = 2.43 so rounded up he may get a 3/7th reduction on the amount he should pay you.

It used to be around 15% of net salary minus deductions for overnights or other children living at his new address.

Don't forget thought that you may be entitled to spousal maintenance if you have stayed at home with the children to allow his career to progress etc.

Cat2014 Sun 11-Sep-16 08:16:03

Thank you. These are my thoughts too. School holidays - I'm assuming he will want me to cover most, or grandparents.

Cat2014 Sun 11-Sep-16 09:00:18

Also - the Csa calculator says he'd have to pay me £39 per week. Is this in addition to him paying a percentage of dc's activities? (He does a lot of sports etc). I'm a bit confused as to what we do about the other expenses for example activities, school shoes and things.

AppleJac Sun 11-Sep-16 09:04:23

The maintenance what csa state is to cover everything. He does not have to provide more money for anything else.

Cabrinha Sun 11-Sep-16 09:09:26

I don't claim maintenance (I'm entitled to, but don't for my own reasons). However, j did put it in the Consent Order that my XH has to pay half of all childcare costs. If you're paying childcare and are not high earners then the official maintenance can easily be eaten up my childcare.

You need to talk to a solicitor (it is s false economy not to) but why not see if you can have £X per month specified separate to maintenance to cover activity costs? Check with a solicitor that it will be legally binding.

I expect his desire for 50/50 is to avoid maintenance. Which is fine, if it is true 50/50 and he does / pays for childcare on those days.

Rumtopf Sun 11-Sep-16 09:34:01

Dfinitely go and see a solicitor, the £39 a week you mentioned should apparently cover everything. When in all honesty it won't cover hardly anything at all. You need a separate agreement for childcare costs and activities.
Bear in mind when they get to secondary school the cost of school trips accelerates incredibly, we've had one on offer for a thousand pounds.

Penfold007 Sun 11-Sep-16 09:43:21

He's trying to avoid paying CM and actually doing parenting. 50/50 is the starting point but he needs to know that means parenting not just providing a bed. So he would need to cover child care, clothing, food, clubs and so on when he has the DC. Really worth getting legal advice.

WiseUpJanetWeiss Tue 13-Sep-16 20:37:11

Although if it's genuinely 50:50 you would not be entitled to maintenance, he could not expect you to be or to pay for child care on his days.

If he was reasonable and you were able to essentially provide "his" childcare you could negotiate around that point e.g. he pays you the going after-school-club rate for the days for which he is responsible and everyone benefits.

If he's a jerk, then maybe not!

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