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Financial entitlement -divorce

(15 Posts)
latitafbs Wed 07-Sep-16 22:27:37

Hi i am new to this so not sure if I am posting in the right section. In a nutshell I need some advice before I start divorce proceedings. I have been with my husband for 31 years and married for 28. In May I caught him cheating on me. I threw him out that day. He is now stating he wants half the saving, half the house proceeds and to keep his pension.
included in the savings was medical compensation. he knows i need the operation and has always said the money is mine not his. well that has now changed as he wants half of it. he earns double my earnings and intends to keep that as well. without writing too much where do i start with finances. I don't want to give him anything but know I have to. I know the staring point is 50/50 but I am sure i read somewhere that due to the length of the marriage this may not be the case. My standard of living should not drop?? Also his pension is worth 5 times more than mine although he laughs at me and says it not worth anything. would I be best to have a solicitor to work out the finances as I really don't know when it coms to pensions and current future salaries. He has always earnt more than me and still does.At present I am in the family home as my two kids are with me. They are both adults and no longer in education. Sadly they do not earn enough to rent let alone buy a place.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated

HeddaGarbled Wed 07-Sep-16 22:31:36

Start with this:

I think you should see a solicitor.

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry Wed 07-Sep-16 22:34:08

The starting point for splitting assets of a LONG marriage is 50:50 - that includes all assets and liabilities ie family home. pensionS (ie your s and his, at CETV value), and savings, but taking off any new mortgages.

There will not be child maintenance as your children are adults. It is expected that (without SEN) they need to become independent.

If you gave up work to look after home and family and have little expectation of returning to (decent) paid employment there should be a good case for spousal maintenance until pensions kick in.

Standards of living for BOTH families may drop. Any family court tries to ensure that the standard of both families is similar after divorce.

Mediation might be a good starting point.

TJEckleburg Wed 07-Sep-16 22:37:37

CMSI is correct apart from the medical compensation. If that was granted to you for a particular expense then it must be used for that and not treated as marital assets.

awishes Wed 07-Sep-16 22:39:57

Can I just add that I have recently been through this and was not compensated in any way for giving up my career to bring up our children despite not returning to anything like the salary I once earnt
This was through the family court and our children are that, not adults!
PLease be careful with your expectations. 50/50 is the norm and it's hard to get a judge to see the reasons to move away from that.

mineofuselessinformation Wed 07-Sep-16 22:42:04

Pensions are considered part of the 'pot' financially.
Your compensation should not be.
You really need to see a solicitor to get proper legal advice.

latitafbs Wed 07-Sep-16 23:03:02

Thank you for all the advice. I spoke to a solicitor and they said everything goes into the pot and then the negotiation starts. they also said that even though we are now living apart he could run up a debt in his own name but I am still liable to pay it if he doesn't. we are still married so all debts are joint. My question then is am I entitled to use any savings to live and or spend?? he is spending money left right and centre on our son. And its not small amounts but he isn't spending a penny on his two daughters. He has bought him a motorbike and taken him on two holidays this year. he clearly has no issues when it comes to spending and yet I am scared to use the savings. surely I should be free to spend just as he does as after all it is joint. some of the money is my own personal money but I know he can and will take half. can I gift money to my children or will this be frowned upon by the courts??

mineofuselessinformation Wed 07-Sep-16 23:31:02

Your solicitor is right in that while you are still married (i.e. until the point of divorce), each of you are liable for any debts of the marriage. However, if you can demonstrate the he is wilfully spending money, this could be considered as part of his share of any settlement.
If you have joint accounts, you may want to consider emptying them into an account in your name and getting the joint account frozen, but your solicitor should advise you on this.

mineofuselessinformation Wed 07-Sep-16 23:31:45

'That he is'

latitafbs Thu 08-Sep-16 08:01:09

I have read up on spousal maintenance and although I believe he earns approximately £15 to £20k more than i do i don't think that would be classed as a significant difference. So i assume a court would class us as having similar earnings.
I will have to consult a solicitor as I don't think this is something I can do alone. I am or was trying to keep costs down but by doing so may cause myself to lose out in the long run.
Any advice on how to select a good solicitor??

latitafbs Thu 08-Sep-16 08:29:46

DIY divorce?? Has anyone gone through this and is it something to be avoided if there are financial settlements to sort out?

MrsBertBibby Thu 08-Sep-16 09:14:02

I am a family solicitor. Whether you instruct a lawyer is up to you, but so far, you have admitted you have little grasp of pensions etc. Whatever person you spoke to (about debt) has either wildly misinformed you, or you have completely misunderstood them.

No one is liable to pay debts contracted by their spouse, either during marriage, or post separation. Debts of one party can (and generally are) taken into account in the settlement, but that is not the same thing as you being liable to the creditor for them.

I think if you choose not to instruct a solicitor, your husband will run rings around you, and leave you far worse off than you should be.

First port of call for finding a solicitor is personal recommendation. Ask around, people must know people who had good or bad experiences.

In addition, look on the Resolution website, find an accredited specialist in your area. In addition, the Law Society has a separate accreditation scheme, so Find A Solicitor can also flag up local solicitors who have passed this additional process.

Good luck.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 08-Sep-16 09:18:06

Ask solicitor about financial severance. That way his debts won't be your responsibility.

latitafbs Thu 08-Sep-16 09:36:12

Thank you for the advice. I don't really know anyone where I live so can't ask around. I will try the resolution website and find a solicitor.
I don't think he will run up any debts as he is financially quite well off. It is me who is struggling but I will not run debts up. I will use any savings to cover expenses. I am sure a judge would understand if he looked at both our finances.
Sadly I cannot stand up to him and he knows it. Yes he will run rings around me

babybarrister Thu 08-Sep-16 14:38:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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