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Help. I'm stuck

(8 Posts)
hcat123 Fri 02-Sep-16 16:39:20

Hello, I'm in a bit of a mess here.
My partner and I (we are not married) had an argument on wed eve which got heated because I asked him what he was doing on his phone and he refused to show me. Rightly or wrongly, I grabbed his phone and then he grabbed my arm, I tried to get him off me and pulled into the next room and then he was shouting and getting so angry and wrestled me to the floor with his arm around my neck in a headlock. I was so frightened and couldn't breathe. I asked him to stop. I dropped the phone. He finally stopped and I could barely breathe. I managed to push him back and he said you are mental and made way to the front door. At this point I shoved him and slammed door. It was awful. He's never done anything like that before. He does have issues with anger but never like that. His personality is up and down a lot and life is hectic - we have two children under 2 and the house is often chaotic as you can imagine. I don't know what to do or think.
On the night I called my brother and he called the police becuSe j was in such a. State and my partner was still banging on the doors and windows demeaning to be let back I a nod have his keys. Thankfully he didn't take his keys with him. His mum and dad live Locally and I called them. By which time he had already called them. His mother said I had provoked And then attacked him and I should be ashamed. Clearly no support from her!
The police turned up the next am (shortage of staff) and said I need to decide whether to make a 'formal' statement or not. They said its on record but gangs all they could do for now. They said also I'm in a tricky situation because I don't own the property - only he does - a problem longstanding since we met 3 years ago that is still up in the air. Anyway. I can't change that now, but the whole situation is sticky and complicated and sad.
I feel so down and panicky. I can't believe it happened out of know where and I just don't know what to do for the best sad
Ps. I don't have any other family that can put us up and I am a SAHM so do y have any income of my own. I am trapped.
Please help.

Tiggeryoubastard Fri 02-Sep-16 16:44:42

You have anger and violence issues. It sounds like he does to. I suggest you desperate and both separately get help.

Tiggeryoubastard Fri 02-Sep-16 16:45:58

Separate. Not desperate.
If it's his house you need to leave if he wants you to.
It sounds like you feel you did nothing wrong.

MrsBertBibby Fri 02-Sep-16 16:59:07

You don't need to leave. You are there with your very young children, and can obtain an occupation order preventing him from throwing you out, possibly ecluding him from the house, and potentially anborder under schedule 1 Children Act letting you and kids stay there until they reach 18, to his exclusion.

Get to a family solicitor ASAP and in the mean time get the police to take that statement.

Ddd123 Fri 02-Sep-16 17:27:00

But what if it's a one off and I want to give him another chance? Not now, but I mean, if he sorts self out?
Do you think giving the police statement only nails in the coffin?

Ddd123 Sat 03-Sep-16 00:49:50

I'm sorry if I've confused anyone. I had to change my name for security reasons.
Th ask you for all the whip so far. If anyone has any thoughts on my above post I would appreciate it X

WatchingFromTheWings Sat 03-Sep-16 00:56:10

He only grabbed you because you tried to take his phone. He went over the top but let you go once you dropped the phone. I think you both have anger issues tbh.

hippydippybaloney Sat 03-Sep-16 01:01:47

Grabbing someone's phone is NOT comparable to what he did to her. Not at all.

You cannot stay in this relationship.

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