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Divorced ex will not move out!

(47 Posts)
dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 00:20:28

OK posting this on behalf of a friend

She's finally divorced with 2 kids (8,11), but she has a problem... her ex husband will not move out of the house. He didn't want the divorce and claims he will stay there until the kids are both over 18 as it's better for the kids. The house is solely in her name (she settled with him for the house in the divorce) and I think she assumed he would go. He can easily financially afford his own place with room for the kids and she is happy to share custody 50/50. While she says he is a good dad he is not pleasant to her and makes the atmosphere in the house when they are both there very unpleasant.

She has taken to spending as little time there when he is there as possible. When he is there he is sulky and rude and she tends to 'hide' in her bedroom/office which is at the back of the house. He has more or less 'taken over' the rest of the house as his own/the kids. She is worried that the kids growing up in that atmosphere will think that is what relationships are like and be badly affected by it. He didn't even want to tell the kids they were divorced and finally she persuaded him to do it but he then subsequently refused so she told them and he then told them something different and called their mother to them.

This has made the atmosphere ten times worse and the kids are now uncertain as to what is going on. She wants him to move out, but everywhere she turns the advice seems to be he doesn't have to. Surely he can't put her through this for the next ten years and potentially mess their kids up as well?

Any advice. Can she evict him? Can she get a court order? Can she sell the house? Or does be have power of veto over all of those too?

MeMySonandl Sat 27-Aug-16 00:24:24

So the divorce has gone through... What about the separation of assets, has it been completed? If it hasn't she cannot kick him out just yet ( if the house is still classed as a marital asset)

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 00:25:31

So the financial,settlement your friend has been given the house? Was this decided under a consent order with a solicitor or just between themselves?

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 00:46:21

The settlement of assets is complete and she has paid him for his half of the house so the house is now solely hers. Yes the divorce has gone through.

There is no financial hardship on either side by the way.

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 00:50:12

When did this complete ? So he has had her money from the house she owned ?

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 00:51:41

Was there a timespan given for him to leave ? , not qualified just going through this myself btw

coolaschmoola Sat 27-Aug-16 00:52:54

They are not married, the house is solely hers... Surely she can ring the Police if he won't leave as he has no legal right to be there at all!

AndNowItsSeven Sat 27-Aug-16 00:53:15

Why did they voice? It sounds like he didn't want to. The time for your friend to have considered her dc was before the divorce.

MeMySonandl Sat 27-Aug-16 00:53:16

She needs legal advice to evict him. What a leach

AndNowItsSeven Sat 27-Aug-16 00:53:27

Divorce not voice.

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 00:54:14

'Separated' 3 years, divorce recently completed. He has been paid by her for his portion of the house (wrankled as she owned it before they got married, but that's life) so she is now the sole owner of the property.

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 00:55:56

Yep Coolasch is right , get her lawyer to issue a 7 day notice formhim to leave .

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 00:59:17

Sorry for typo... Yep that's life...

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 00:59:25

The trouble is legal advice seems inconclusive, this is complicated by the fact that there are kids involved.

Yes he didn't want the divorce, but he also wanted her to give up her job and a host of other things that she didn't want to do. She will admit that she played her part in the break down of the relationship, but from what I know he was fairly unreasonable over many years and she'd finally had enough.

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 01:01:19

Can anyone confirm that Coolasch's advice is legally watertight?

She is considering this as a last resort (as it will obviously upset the kids), but right now all she has done is pay him a load of money to carry on making her life miserable.

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 01:01:45

Thanks for all the replies, much appreciated.

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 01:02:30

But they are divorced! It's the dc's and df's home, was it not discussed between the lawyers as to when he had to leave ... ? All this should have been agreed when he received payment and the consent order was finalised surely ?

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 01:05:45

I will have to ask her, but I think the division of assets isn't legally connected to one or other of them moving out. Generically I mean, not just in this case.

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 01:06:07

I would seek legal advice to be sure , as I said previously I am not a lawyer ! sorry I cannot help 💐

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 01:09:43

Yes she is going to, just waiting on her barrister replying, but we were wondering in the meantime if the Internet could help.... having done plenty of Googling on the subject it seems there is a lot of confusion.

AcrossthePond55 Sat 27-Aug-16 01:10:50

If she's consulted with solicitors (not random people, CAB, the police, or WA) and the solicitors have examined all the papers, and they are telling her that legally she cannot evict him from her house, there's something she must not be understanding about the house buy out. Frankly, I'd suggest she see another solicitor and take someone (you) with her this time as two heads are better than one. She must not be explaining things correctly or he still has some type of interest in the house, although I can't imagine what.

If a solicitor confirms that the legalities are completed, he has all his money (not that she's paying him in installments) and his name is off everything, then I'd say she's perfectly entitled to change the locks on the house. Does he work regular hours? Couldn't she schedule a locksmith for a time when he won't be there? Barring that, then I guess she could serve him an eviction notice.

FreeFromHarm Sat 27-Aug-16 01:13:06

Hope it gets sorted soon so your df and dc can move on with their lives

dfcdfc Sat 27-Aug-16 01:17:42

No she definitely owns the house outright, doesn't owe him any money etc. However I think she needs some order over the kids as surely if she kicks him out then she prevents his access to the kids and I think this is where the issues arise. Anyway I am sure the barrister will let her know soon enough, but as I said just wondering if anyone here has some legal expertise and could offer advice while we wait for that.

Thanks again for all your replies.

AlpacaLypse Sat 27-Aug-16 01:23:50

I think you may have hit the nail over the head here. At least while he's still in the house parental contact is supervised.

Nevertheless for your friend's sake this needs to stop. Long term not good for her, the children or for the ex - he needs space to move on too!

MindSweeper Sat 27-Aug-16 01:25:21

As far as I know he can apply for an occupation order.

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