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Telling DCs & Mediation advice

(4 Posts)
Darelydo Thu 18-Aug-16 09:30:21

Since last post of 'sad and scared' and having asked many questions including 'is there anything else we can do to save this marriage?' we have decided to go ahead and tell DCs tomorrow about intention to split and get a divorce. Can't believe it's come to this!
We've agreed he'll do most of the talking and say we* both want the divorce because he has met and wants to be with someone else, that he'll stay with us for a while until we've worked out what's best, and that they'll be part of that process so that they can say what they would like,
* to be communicated as a joint decision because the kids can't be left wandering, and blame will damage their wellbeing and for me this is about my dignity and self-respect, and protecting me and the kids from more hurt.
I have no idea how they'll react...
We'll start mediation next week any advice on; access & financial settlements? I'm the main earner, work full time have my own business, decent income, want to keep house, but I don't know what he'll ask for
It's all happening so quickly

murrell0cherri Thu 18-Aug-16 10:35:35

I found these quite helpful as a starting point

Don't worry about what you think he will ask for? it's never what you expect .

Start from a position of establishing what you and your children need for the next chapter of your life.

Keep it simple but be realistic.

That way you start mediation on a proactive footing.

Hope this helps

Darelydo Thu 18-Aug-16 13:14:06

Thanks it does, and good to keep the needs of the kids as the focus

Darelydo Fri 19-Aug-16 22:55:37

Really tough day, cried so much. 15 yr old really emotional and angry saying he doesn't think he can cope, 12 yr old looks like he's trying to process it all and wants to know how I'm feeling, saddest day ever

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