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Holiday contact, what is reasonable?

(6 Posts)
AnnettePrice Wed 03-Aug-16 10:38:13

Contact arrangements for DC 13 have been informal for almost a year .DC lives with me full time. They should have Skype calls 3 times a week but STBXH usually misses 2 a week (then gets angry with me about it hmm ) and it had been open that he could have any weekend as long as there was some notice to make sure the weekend was kept free (gets angry when giving 3 days notice and we are already doing something). Then for school holidays 50:50.

As STBXH keeps on twisting and lieing about them I wrote up a formal proposal and my solicitor has sent it to him.
It formalised 1 weekend in 3 (way more than STBXH has asked for so far) and on holidays DC to contact the parent DC isn't with every 4th day. Only after solicitor chasing up has he said he would get back to them within 1 to 2 days. That was almost a week ago.

STBXH is having DC for 1/2 the summer holidays and so DC has been with him for 1 1/2 weeks so far.
The contact that I have had so far after 6 days has been 1 missed arranged call due to them having no signal. I tried for over 30 mins to get in contact. 1 Skype call on such bad wifi that impossible to have conversation and there was no phone signal (this call was arranged in leu of the missed call).
I finally go out that evening for the 1st time in weeks, during this time it seems STBXH tried to set up acall for DC which some how I was informed that it cost STBXH money.
So I asked for a call to be arranged when convenient to STBXH on the next day, 24hrs later and I have been totally ignored (I can see that he received it). I am presuming that he thinks that he has made enough of an effort sad

Am I asking to much for contact with DC whilst with STBXH for 3 weeks? What is normal or average if I'm not?

I hope you can help me put this into prospective as at the moment I don't have anyone to talk to about this and it feels like it's getting out of proportion in my mind.

lifeisunjust Wed 03-Aug-16 12:40:56

Your son is 13?
Honestly, I think you are asking far too much.
1 or 2 contacts max over 3 weeks.

Ratbagcatbag Wed 03-Aug-16 12:46:54

Agree with a previous poster at 13 you're asking too much.
Does your ds have a mobile phone? Just text and ring as you want surely? Same for his dad too. Why scheduled Skype time?

If we take DSS on holiday then I used to ring and text him mum to let her know we'd arrived and maybe mid week question DSS if he'd heard anything from his mum, if not I persuaded him to text or call.
If we were at home with him I never ever made him ring, just let his mum deal with him directly on an adhoc basis.

AnnettePrice Wed 03-Aug-16 13:29:18

They are in a mobile signal black spot and STBXH lives in a black spot to, so he has to make an effort for me to be able to speak to DC, that's why it has to be pre-arranged.

If it is general consensus that for 3 weeks with other parent, 1 to 2 calls and that is it to be expected. I won't feel guilty about not putting in the effort when DC has holiday with me later and I'll withdraw my proposal and change it accordingly.

Ratbagcatbag Wed 03-Aug-16 14:22:54

But if you won't be in a mobile black spot then surely he can just ring your ds direct? I'm really not sure at 13 why you need a proposal any way.
Are they currently on holiday or at ex's house? If house can you not get hold of the land line number?

WavingNotDrowning Wed 03-Aug-16 14:26:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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