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How would I manage practically if we split up?

(3 Posts)
sheepflower Fri 29-Jul-16 15:36:36

Not really sure how to word this but I just need to get my head straight. Dh and I are not getting on at all and haven't for a while. However I don't see how I can manage practically if we split up. I need to know what the options would be. I feel like I don't have a choice but to stay in this relationship which is making me and the kids unhappy.

We have 2 kids, (8 and 1) and jointly own a house. I pay all the bills and mortgage but we have a big mortgage and the mortgage company would not lend that amount to me alone. I work from home flexible full time (self employed) and dh works part time and looks after the kids half the week (definitely not his choice). We can only afford 2 full days nursery/ week and even that's a struggle.

I don't have much family support, only my parents who live a half hour drive away. Dd1 is in a good school here with lots of friends so I don't want to move her.

Any ideas how I could make a split work? I realise I'd need to compromise but where?

KarmaNoMore Fri 29-Jul-16 15:42:13

First of all, you need to accept that there will be a change in lifestyle if you split. It may help to find out how much equity you could get if you sold your current house and whether you can afford to get a mortgage in a smaller house using 50% of that equity as a deposit for your new house.

You may be entitled to some help to pay nurseries and after school clubs. Check if you would be entitled to some help at

You can do it, it won't be easy but it will be much better than being in an unhappy relationship.

Rollercoaster1920 Fri 29-Jul-16 15:50:22

And your partner is the primary carer. your situation is a reverse of the usual 'dad moves out to a bedsit, keeps paying the mortgage, can't have kids come to stay as the bedsit isn't suitable'.

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