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Becoming a single mother

(7 Posts)
Muzzcub Sun 17-Jul-16 11:23:06

Hi can anyone advise me on who I need to speak to about my situation.

Husband has left, he worked full time and paid for everything as I have been a Sam since dd age 4 was born.
Thankfully I am waiting for a start date for a new job, it is 16 hours so fortunately I gather that will make me applicable for certain benefits.
The pay I get from this job will only cover the rent for our house each month, and am totally on the dark about how much help I might get with tax credits, housing benefit etc.
Can anyone tell me who I need to speak to about this, or is anyone in the same boat who can explain ?
The future feels terrifying at the moment.

OP’s posts: |
Makemineacabsauv Sun 17-Jul-16 11:40:04

Your husband will need to pay maintenance for your ds, if he won't agree to it then you can contact the child maintenance service and they will tell him how much he must pay and agree a monthly date. You will also get child benefit and tax credits - both working and child tax credits. If you pay for childcare they can also help with that. Phone them up now as you should already qualify for child tax credits before you start work. I would also go to the job centre and ask about help with housing benefit until you get paid from your new job. There are various benefits you can get from community organisations who can help you until you actually get paid - the job centre directed me to one and they gave me cash for petrol to get to/from work, help with buying school uniform for kids, help to pay bills until payday. The job centre also gave me money to buy work clothes and our local council gives out £40 towards kitting DC out with school uniform.

MrsBertBibby Sun 17-Jul-16 11:40:09

Do you get child benefit? If not, get that moving asap as other benefits depend on it.

If you do, then next you need to check for whether you are in a universal credit area

If you are, apply for that. If you are not, apply for tax credits.

Have you told your council he has gone? They will reduce your council tax liability. Also talk to them about housuing benefit (help with rent).

Is he paying maintenance? If not, contact CMS.

lifeisunjust Sun 17-Jul-16 11:45:17

My husband left me and 4 kids (to be a woman/transwoman/narcissist and live with another married woman who was having an affair with another man simultaneously). My life just fell apart and it's 3 years on. He emptied all the joint accounts, cancelled credit cards in my name by changing them to his without knowledge and spent in a matter of weeks half the life savings intended for the children's futures, after 20 years together.

Find as many friends as you can who will not give sympathy but empathy and love and hope you don't get former friends telling you "pull yourself together" I got one and she made me feel awful and still does.

Use this website, I'm sure there are more. I get child tax credits, but I had to fight very hard for them and they are constantly auditing me ( I suspect someone keeps reporting me who thinks I should not be entitled to them, but have passed all audits).

I have a very understanding bank, it's Nationwide, I set myself up with new accounts, waited 6 months to be entitled to a new credit record, took advantage of a cheap overdraft which I still have 3 years later, otherwise I could not have got through financially.

I am still terrified sometimes but the initial situation made me feel very ill and I'll never stop having panic attacks I think, but with the improving finances, it has got a bit better.

I wish you the best of luck with the new job. I hope it gives you the financial stability you will surely need and the emotional positive too.

Muzzcub Sun 17-Jul-16 11:47:12

Thanks very much all. The problem is he is currently at his mother's as I had to get him out asap as I discovered repeated infidelity. His work has reduced his hours slightly so he has no idea of he can afford to rent on his own yet.
I have no idea if his parents will let him stay with them awhile .
Although I really do not want him back in this house I can't at this moment say if he will have to return temporarily.

Will this hamper my getting sorted with housing benefit etc, do they need very specific proof that we are separated. I do no want him back in the house but if he has to be temporarily he will refuse to pay rent anyway.

Sorry if this is garbled, it's been a difficult week

OP’s posts: |
Muzzcub Sun 17-Jul-16 11:49:17

lifeisunjust I just saw your reply. All my best wishes for a positive future for you too, what you have been through sounds unbearably hard. flowers

OP’s posts: |
Viviennemary Sun 17-Jul-16 11:52:03

I think it would make things more difficult as regards claiming benefit if he moves back in. Athough I believe it is still possible to do so. But you would have to prove that you are not a couple. So this could take a lot longer IMHO. So I'd advise to claim as a single person in the house.

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