I so desperately want to get divorced and need to be realistic about my options, so would appreciate any advice.
We've been married 6 years, together 10. Have two young DC's, one of which is at primary school.
We have around £400k equity in the house. DH earns £90k +. I work part time earning £20k, which will be £30k working full time (which I intend to do if childcare costs allow).
My worry really is housing. We live in London. Prices are insane (hence the ridiculous equity) and even with a £200k deposit, there are barely any two bed properties available in my price range within a commutable distance to school.
I read a lot about finances being spilt so both parties are 'adequately housed'. What does this mean in terms of space and distance to school? Obviously I know things will change but I'm wondering what's seen as reasonable.
What's your mortgage capacity? What's DH's mortgage capacity? add them together plus the equity - that's the housing budget for you both. What will that get you? If you are the primary carer, you are the priority, so that might mean 2 br for you and perhaps only 1br for DH, but he will say he needs 2 br as well for when the DC stay with him. So maybe one or both of you have to move areas.
Anyway, that's the way to think about it. Equity will not necessarily be split 50:50, in fact it often isn't.
'Adequately housed' depends so much on individual context. The court will be aiming at achieving ownership not renting, unless you were renting anyway; ideally 1 br per child but that might not be possible; ideally some parity in the quality of housing between ex-spouses (not one in a mansion and one in a shed). Changing schools may have to happen in order to get affordable housing, but the time for moving might be postponed to get through important periods (eg not to make a child move during GCSE year). There are so many variables. The key thing is for the children to have housing that is as secure as possible, whilst being reasonable about what that means for the other party. There are bound to be compromises.