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Unreasonable behaviour

(12 Posts)
GoldenOrb Thu 14-Jul-16 16:39:11

Has anyone filed for divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour and can give me some advice? As I understand I would have to give a certain number (?6) of reasons/examples. How specific/non specific do they have to be, and can they be things that happened a long time ago (eg if there was a specific incident that happened 5 years ago)? I don't want the solicitor/judge to think I am being ridiculous!

Minime85 Thu 14-Jul-16 17:05:50

Hi. Yes you need 5-6 reasons ideally. Need to be in the 6 months before you separated. You can get advice on line of kind of things and how to word it as it should be factual rather than emotive. You don't use names you use petitioner and respondent. Need things like:
Being told don't love you anymore
No intimacy
Not being included in their social lives and it hurt your feelings
Date you separated and not been back since insert date
Can name specific arguments had and include date it happened and examples of nasty words etc. These need to be in 6 months before split up.
These are the things I put on mine.

My DP only put 4 things on and his went through no problems.

GoldenOrb Thu 14-Jul-16 17:20:13

Minime thanks, that was really helpful. The problem that I have is that he could use all of those reasons against me, but not me against him!! And he doesn't want to get divorced so refuses to file.

My reasons would be more like:
Putting work ahead of family (there are specific examples in past 6 months of this)
Being financially useless (obvs I'll term it better than that) - but not necessarily within the past 6 months

Minime85 Thu 14-Jul-16 17:35:45

You want to be petitioner anyway as you have control then. If he then doesn't accept it he has to defend it and prove reasons aren't true which he won't want to do as costs etc. If he just doesn't reply by u being petitioner after certain time limit it can go ahead anyway.

Name specific about work before family with dates.
Does say within 6 months before split so my advice would be to stick with that time line.

GoldenOrb Thu 14-Jul-16 17:51:38

Thanks, I'll have a think about what I could put.

Phillipa12 Thu 14-Jul-16 18:03:56

Putting work ahead of family is fine, i also put lack of emotional support, lack of physical support, unwillingness to visit extended family. I didnt give specific examples and mine was accepted, The list can go on and on, mine dated back a year.

Minime85 Thu 14-Jul-16 18:14:12

I also put and DP did on his too as one reason just a length of time been separated or had sex since as another one.

Backintheday2016 Thu 14-Jul-16 18:20:55

I made a long list of about 12 things (once I started I couldn't stop) eg he didn't shower every day, some quite personal things but my solicitor wrote a narrative of what happened to lead to the break up of the marriage eg there was resentment as I was working and he wasn't and didn't mention the specific things like the lack of shower at all.

GoldenOrb Thu 14-Jul-16 18:28:26

Hmm. A lot of the main reasons that our marriage has broken down are historic (no support when I had PND, but that was 4 years ago, specific occasions where he failed to pick up children because he put work first, but that was 3 years ago etc). So I am finding it difficult to find stuff to put down that apply to now (other than continuing to put work first which still applies). I'll try what backintheday did and see how that goes.

Minime85 Thu 14-Jul-16 18:30:43

Just be generic don't date it

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 14-Jul-16 18:32:45

You only really need three examples - first, worst and last. Don't worry too much about them, the judge isn't going to be scrutinising for your reasonableness. The fact that you are filing is enough to show irreconcilable differences really.

GoldenOrb Thu 14-Jul-16 21:17:48

Thanks all, that's been really helpful.

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