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HE WONT LEAVE !!!

(29 Posts)
notnotnee Tue 28-Jun-16 12:06:05

Hi
I want to end my 3.5 year marriage but he wont leave. It was my house before we met (although we did move to another house 2 years in) but all paid for by myself and solely in my name. Can anyone offer advice on how to get him to leave. Our marriage has never really been very good. Lots of rows and him storming off. It was so bad that he even rented a flat for 15 months but then gave it up as things appeared to be going OK. He says he wants 16K but I don't think he is entitled to that much. Any advice would be much appreciated.

WellWhoKnew Tue 28-Jun-16 12:15:17

You need a lawyer. The starting point is 50/50, so if he wants 16K and you keep the house (assuming your equity minus debts is more than 32K) I'd bite his hand off. It's a short marriage so you might be able to argue away from 50/50 but it's all the circumstances of the case so that's why a lawyer needs to be seen.

notnotnee Tue 28-Jun-16 12:17:22

Gosh really, even though he has contributed nothing to the house. Obviously paid me house keeping each month. That sounds extremely high. I am meeting with my solicitor later today.

Whisky2014 Tue 28-Jun-16 12:19:33

Well, that's what happens!

WellWhoKnew Tue 28-Jun-16 12:21:31

Fraid so. Money is just one contribution to a marriage.

TheNaze73 Tue 28-Jun-16 12:22:49

OP, please read the countless threads about this happening in reverse. Yes, that is what happens. You can see the frequent, get married for your own protection threads. See a solicitor ASAP

MrsBertBibby Tue 28-Jun-16 13:18:48

A 3.5 year marriage with massive inequality of capital contribution does not lead to an equal split.

Get a petition issued pronto, he has a right to occupy until you have decree absolute, so the sooner you start the better.

PotteringAlong Tue 28-Jun-16 13:21:21

Of course he has contributed. Just because he hasn't paid the mortgage doesn't mean he hasn't contributed. obviously gave me housekeeping - so he DID pay something every month.

FV45 Tue 28-Jun-16 13:55:26

You are married. He has as much right to live there as you do.

You can't make him leave.

[bitter personal experience]

notnotnee Tue 28-Jun-16 14:53:01

Oh dear, beginning to panic now. This is going to be a long and difficult time ahead by the sounds of it Yikes !!!

notnotnee Tue 28-Jun-16 14:53:40

FV45 - so how did you get him to go in the end??

WellWhoKnew Tue 28-Jun-16 15:05:44

10 months and four court hearings for me. Never again. See what your lawyer says but you might find his offer worth it.

notnotnee Tue 28-Jun-16 15:17:34

WellWhoKnew. That sounds pretty awful. Court/Solicitor fees must have been pretty high too. I have been advised that if we cannot agree a figure out of court, then we should go to mediation to help come to an agreed figure, to avoid astronomical fees.

WellWhoKnew Tue 28-Jun-16 15:51:27

If you're in the UK, then save a few exceptions then mediation is mandatory before court. If you're arguing about 16K, then even then mediation will be a costly. Court if you self rep is much cheaper! Again, chat to your solicitor because it's v v v complicated.

WellWhoKnew Tue 28-Jun-16 15:52:12

I am liking the word "then" a lot today!

PotteringAlong Tue 28-Jun-16 17:53:22

It will cost you a lot more than £16k. If that's What he wants I'd give it to him

FV45 Tue 28-Jun-16 23:11:21

I haven't got him to go yet. He is still in the home. I am in the process of buying him out. It's been going on since March 2015. It's been awful.

notapizzaeater Tue 28-Jun-16 23:14:31

It could cost that much in solicitors - I'd pay him

notnotnee Thu 30-Jun-16 11:14:02

But if we go to court, I presume it will cost him just as much?? Is that correct.?

WellWhoKnew Thu 30-Jun-16 11:40:03

Not necessarily. The applicant pays for the initial court fee. If he self-reps then it costs nothing in legal expenses.

notnotnee Thu 30-Jun-16 11:53:04

OMG, it is so wrong. My house to start with, all paid for, no mortgage and he can take potentially half. What a load of shite !!!

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 30-Jun-16 12:07:48

'Everything I have I share with you' - marriage does what it says on the tin!

MrsBertBibby Thu 30-Jun-16 13:09:53

Go and get proper advice from a solicitor, to whom you can tell all the background. If your marriage was that short, and you lived apart for a third of it, I don't think it's a straight 50 50, but no one can advise without the full story.

Toastybread Thu 30-Jun-16 13:28:15

With all my worldly goods I thee endow. 16k sounds dirt cheap I'd bite his hands off. My divorce cost 39k & a whole loada pain.

WellWhoKnew Thu 30-Jun-16 13:37:40

It's unlikely he'll get half the house but it's all the circumstances of the case. As we keep saying 16K is a drop in the ocean if you own your own home. So if that's all he what save yourself the hell of divorce and get the consent order sealed ASAP so you can put marriage down to bad experience and get on with life. Being in a protracted divorce is a miserable existence.

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