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travel for contact

(8 Posts)
rainbowdash24 Tue 21-Jun-16 00:25:37

When dh left 3 yrs ago, he moved 2 hrs north.

He sees lo each week.

I agreed to do one journey a week & meet him half way. He does the rest.

He's now asked me, after 3 years, to make the drives a fairer split.

I'm reluctant as he's one who made choice to move. Why should I travel?!

I'm currently in the process of arranging to move 1 hr closer to him. He doesn't know yet.

I haven't replied on driving question yet.

As I'm moving to another town, even though an hour closer do you think I'm within my rights (or should I say aibu?) to still say no to doing more driving as he made choice to move away?

What's your thoughts?

rainbowdash24 Tue 21-Jun-16 19:25:32

Anyone got any thoughts on this?

nickiminageatrois Tue 21-Jun-16 21:06:47

Not sure. My gut feeling was to say no, but then I thought that you also need to collect your child from him after contact?

How many journeys per week? How old is your lo? A 2hr journey is not great for anyone is it?

It sounds like it will be easier all round after the move.

JoMalones Tue 21-Jun-16 21:14:17

If he chose to move away then he should travel. At most you should travel to where he lives before he moved but he is responsible for the journey as he chose the distance.

rainbowdash24 Wed 22-Jun-16 03:16:08

He's asking for meeting half way twice a week. Friday night 1hr 20 in total driving for me & same on the Sunday. This would happen 3 weekends out of 4. Plus on the Friday eve I'd have my 6 mo baby with me as swap would be at 4.30pm & current partner at work so can't help but in the Sunday he can.
Atm we just do 1hr 20 on a Monday eve.
Lo is 4yrs old. Due to start school in Sept hence the Friday night & Sunday night drop offs.
I'm feeling is unreasonable of him but we get on well so know my reply will Rock the boat & potentially start a war which gets me so anxious

nickiminageatrois Wed 22-Jun-16 18:11:51

Jo I agree that is what feels right, but I'm not sure legally how it stands as both parents are responsible for maintaining contact.

Rainbow - Just a thought, but how about when school starts, that on the weekends your ex has lo he collects on Friday and drops off on the Monday to school? That would remove you from the equation.

I understand what you mean about not rocking the boat - it's very hard flowers

TeaBelle Wed 22-Jun-16 18:16:27

I think both parents have a responsibility to facilitate contact and should do 50-50. There's nothing set in law though.

rainbowdash24 Thu 23-Jun-16 03:00:23

I see what you're saying but imagine if you lived in London & then ex dh decides to move to Newcastle.. Why should you be responsible for maintaining contact when his choice on far distance. Surely and applies here with only 1 hour travel (after I move)

Nicki - ex dh will be an hour away so on Monday morning won't be able to do that journey and get Bach in Time to start work.. Shame isn't it

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