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Divorce and assets prior to marriage

(9 Posts)
nattie0nattie Tue 14-Jun-16 15:32:57

Advice needed! I'm entering divorce with soon to be ex-husband. After spending my early years working exceptionally hard, buying a home and living a very modest life, I was mortgage free by age 35. Met husband 8 years ago, after a wirlwind romance, we married a year later. Until a few years ago, he didn't work, but studied to enter a career he's been dreaming of for years, I supported him throughout and I have no regrets for that.
Living mortgage free meant that throughout married life, once he was working, we both contributed to bills and shopping.
Unfortunately the joy of marriage was short lived and our marriage became toxic. Just 6 years later, after enduring years of arguments and eventual hatred, we separated last year and he moved in with a friend.
We have spoken on the phone only a handful of times, and agreed to divorce amicably. Going through a solicitor friend of his. I received the divorce petition yesterday and discovered that he is going for half of everything. The house, savings, assets, pension, the whole shabang! I'm mortified.
In brief, the house is worth around £300k, a 2 bed terrace on the outskirts of London (I paid £85k for it many years ago), I have been saving ever since I paid off the mortgage to upgrade to a bigger house when kiddo's came along (which they never did) so I have £160k savings, and earn £80k per year for a job which means 16 - 18 hour days, something no know I'll need to stop if I ever have children (which I want sooner rather than later).
He has a very successful career now and earns around £75k per year, but I have no idea how much he has in savings etc as I didn't ever feel he needed to ask.
There are no children involved, no DV or anything similar.
I think I need to break the agreement of going with his favoured solicitor and appoint someone to fight my case. But I fear it will anger him and make everything worse.
But lost as the where to start and what to do, and mortified that it has come to this. Any advice, suggestions or recommendations of divorce solicitors welcome. Thanks.

OP’s posts: |
Minime85 Tue 14-Jun-16 18:57:47

Why can't he just keep his savings, pension and you keep yours etc? I think you def need a solicitor with assists like that anyway. You can attend mediation which might be worth a go and you will both have to declare everything anyway including savings

millymollymoomoo Tue 14-Jun-16 19:11:51

As you are both high earners and have no children it us likely they would essentially reset you back to what you both bought to the marriage or maybe just small payoff. Disclaimer I am not a lawyer but think it highly unlikely he would be awarded anywhere near 50%

You definitely need a good solicitor and with value of asset you have it will be well worth paying for it.

What is your proposal?

nattie0nattie Tue 14-Jun-16 19:22:38

I'm not sure what would be reasonable, and I am more than prepared to be reasonable. But a lump sum to represent a percentage of household contributions over the 7 years that we lived in my house (500 per month). I think any percentage of my pension is unfair, as he will have his own. He is younger than me, and will continue to pay into a pension after I start collecting mine.
I have been saving to move, go part time and start a family, I always intended to fund that myself. Now I worry that I won't be able to afford that if half my savings are swooped, I haven't got much time to get a move on! I have a feeling that he has 50 to 100k stashed away and has just put an offer in on a flat, to a greater value of my home. But as this will be purchased post separation, as an asset, it's not included. He's been clever I feel and maybe planned some of this.
Find someone who worked day and night to get into a better financial situation, marry them, have an easy ride at their pleasure and then nab half of it on divorce!

OP’s posts: |
Minime85 Tue 14-Jun-16 19:35:13

Everything is up for grabs as it were until you are divorced and finances also separated so doesn't matter if he is getting flat now.

Sonnet Wed 15-Jun-16 11:09:04

"Find someone who worked day and night to get into a better financial situation, marry them, have an easy ride at their pleasure and then nab half of it on divorce!"

^^ not fair I agree but often what happens to the men during divorce.

seventhgonickname Thu 16-Jun-16 16:34:16

Make sure you get your own solicitor ,do NOT go with his choice.Good luck.

babybarrister Thu 16-Jun-16 16:35:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fidelia Tue 21-Jun-16 07:03:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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