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mediation tomorrow and I am very anxious

(4 Posts)
ConkersDontScareSpiders Thu 09-Jun-16 10:22:40

Just that really-I have my first joint mediation session with h tomorrow. I have found out over the last three months that he is far from the person I thought him to be. He is very bullish but unfortunately very articulate and convincing. I am suffering with massive anxiety and having recently found out about his affair with my best friend am not in a good state at all.
We had previously agreed (between us-not legally ratified ) a rough financial settlement that I know believe-having found further information on his salary etc, to be unfair. He has accused me of lots of things but most hurtfully of exaggerating my reaction to the thing with my friend on purpose, (I suppose I have had a bit of a break down-have had to start taking medication for anxiety and depression-feel quite poorly), losing my job on purpose in order to somehow fleece him for money (I failed my probation as I was a huge mess following discovery of their affair on the morning I started my new job), and wanting to alter our agreement purely for revenge. None of those things are the case and I just feel weighed down by the whole thing.
Don't know why I'm posting really except for maybe a bit of a handhold. And I guess can anyone with experience tell me what their joint mediation sessions were like so I know what to expect?

OP’s posts: |
Fidelia Thu 09-Jun-16 12:43:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConkersDontScareSpiders Thu 09-Jun-16 19:07:02

I didn't even know you could ask for that-thank-you!-I think that would definitely be helpful in my situation. I will certainly request that I think.
I'm feeling very sick about it now...I've seen him today and he lied to me about something (that I 100%know to be a lie) and he's so good at it that even I was nearly convinced despite having seen written evidence to the contrary. I have real fears as to how this will go...

OP’s posts: |
user1464519881 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:21:25

I also emphasise as said above take the evidfence. Print it all out, bank statements, P60s, tax returnss, pension details and anything else relevant. If possible take 2 copies so you can hand over some but keep yours.
Take 2 copies of the initial "agreement" you wrote.

Also perhaps type out and print out bullet points of what you think is a reasonable deal. You may well be able to get a full time job which will help finances and any children as the probation failure was probably just a temporary blip.

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