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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

In court next week. Ex proposing overnight in hotel rooms.

17 replies

Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 13:44

Kids are 13,12 and 5. They simply will not go. This isn't seriously going to get ordered is ? I find it breath taking my house gets inspected by social services and he thinks a travel lodge is suitable

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babybarrister · 19/05/2016 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 16:21

You still the eldest two were asked, however they weren't told of his plans do yes of course they want to spend time with him but not in a hotel room.

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Houseworkavoider · 19/05/2016 16:24

Unless he poses a risk to the Dc then I can't see the juge stopping your ex.

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Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 16:26

The kids will stop him though, they just won't go. Or he won't take them when they play up because they don't want to be tyere. It's really frustratingv

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lifeisunjust · 19/05/2016 17:25

Presumably they aren't spending their entire indoors inside a hotel room?
I cannot see the problem. I have to take my kids to work sometimes which requires my kids staying in a hotel whilst I work, otherwise i wouldn't see them before shifts, I don't think being in a hotel room is bad for children. If that is the only option for staying somewhere together, then I just don't know why not.

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Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 17:27

But it's not the only option is. He could rent suitable accommodation. I have to be a grown up because I have kids. He's lived like this for three years now. But it's not affected them because he hasn't had them due to being abroad.

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Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 17:29

Sorry that's not strictly true. 2.5 years he was abroad. The past 6 months he's been back in the uk and it's entirely his choice to live this way though. He has money and a good job. Why can't he be made to provide a secure home for his kids if he wants to see them ? I had SS lambast me over my bloody lack of cushions and homely touches 😳

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lifeisunjust · 20/05/2016 07:05

Many children have to live in hotels for months or years. Or they live in refuges. The judge is not stupid, he will see this objection as someone being obstructive.

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Costacoffeeplease · 20/05/2016 07:08

If he wants to live in hotels then that's up to him surely. I can't see why it's such a bad thing in itself

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Familylawsolicitor · 20/05/2016 07:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AHellOfABird · 20/05/2016 07:22

OP, judging by your other thread, they aren't actually staying in a travelodge but in spare rooms in a care home. If you keep posting the same incorrect facts you will keep getting similar responses.

I would be very surprised if social services were only round to check cushions.

A travelodge, in any case, is fine, maybe not fantastically enjoyable for kids but they will presumably be out during the day. Some kids stay with the NRP in his room in a shared house whilst he kips on the sofa - a judge wouldn't have an issue with a travelodge which is safe, clean and well maintained if not brimming over with space and facilities.

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Pisssssedofff · 20/05/2016 07:27

Social services did a section 7 ordered by the court yo check the suitability of my home and his, only of course he hadn't got one has he so nothing to check. And yes I got a mouthful about lack of homely touches. We've lived there 6 months and I only got a bed last month do they weren't exactly a priority. Anyway

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Pisssssedofff · 20/05/2016 07:31

It's fine I have other stuff that'll stop all this crap anyway. I understand kids live in hotels, we did for a short while, it was hell and if there's no alternative then that's how it has to be. My kids have a home though with me, it's not my fault he hasn't got one, we've been split nearly three years!

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AHellOfABird · 20/05/2016 07:37

Well, whatever was said presumably was comment about improvements rather than any indication that the accommodation was inadequate (presumably the inspection was after the beds arrived).

Similarly social services might comment on a travelodge being less than ideal to store things etc but they would still deem it adequate as it was safe, clean etc. If you are looking for a judge to rule it out, I don't think that will happen.

Other than finding the scrutiny not equal, surely it's better that the kids see their dad under safe but imperfect conditions than not at all?

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Pisssssedofff · 20/05/2016 07:41

It's interesting because I have the report now which I didn't have yesterday and no they don't seem to think he should have overnight contact at the moment as he's been out of their lives for so long - his choice - I don't care what anyone says judge or the queen you need a house/flat something secure to have children in, If he was that bothered about seeing them he would provide a home for them.

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AHellOfABird · 20/05/2016 07:43

Ok, but that's to do with his relationship with them not his living quarters: it may change over time once he has got to know them better again.

Anyway, you seem happy with the outcome so I will leave it there.

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Pisssssedofff · 20/05/2016 07:48

I'm not pleased at all, none of this brings me joy, I want him to get his act together so he can share the responsibility of his kids. I wouldn't mind the odd night out, career back, etc myself you know?