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ex won't agree to ANY consent order

(16 Posts)
NAR4 Mon 18-Apr-16 17:59:49

Went to mediation for over a year, to v expensive mediator which ex chose. Finally came to an agreement for consent order, but he has changed it (he calls putting dozens of clauses which will be very expensive to me, tweaking). He has flatly refused over the last yr to agree to anything other than what he had his solicitor draw up. He has now gone back to our mediator and requested a MIAMS (I think that is what it's called), so he can take me to court. What on earth happens now? My solicitor said court will cost me a minimum of £30,000, which I don't have. Even if he doesn't take me to court, I can't move house, rent, sell, or have anyone move in, because the house is still in joint names until consent order is done. He is deliberately stopping me from moving on with my life and getting away with it. Any ideas welcome.

juneau Mon 18-Apr-16 18:03:09

Why will it cost you £30k to go to court? That seems like an excessively high number to me. Is your solicitor planning on hiring you a fleet of barristers or something?

NAR4 Mon 18-Apr-16 18:10:10

Know idea, that is just a figure she quoted to me. She also said I would need to put the money on account with the firm, upfront, because they otherwise wouldn't take it to court. It's company policy due to previous clients not having enough money to pay bills when it has gone to court.

Do you think the figure is likely to be a lot lower then?

GrandmaJosephine Mon 18-Apr-16 18:13:15

You are entitled to a breakdown of possible costs and you might want to do a bit of solicitor shopping around.

The website legal choices may have some information.

wannabestressfree Mon 18-Apr-16 18:13:22

I would self represent if he is being deliberately obstructive after mediation. What a knob.

booked83 Mon 18-Apr-16 18:18:54

I got quoted £1,000 maybe over for taking my ex back to court not that much I would shop around!

My ex was a pain like that.... Stick to your guns my advice (I've done the court thing he took me... He doesn't work n got legal aid!) I ended up self representing myself! (Scary!)

awishes Mon 18-Apr-16 18:23:01

I think she meant a max of £30k?
The fee is only c£200 if you applied to court yourself for remedy. You could even self rep if your circumstances aren't very complicated.
Good luck!

juneau Mon 18-Apr-16 19:02:38

She wants you to give them £30k up front? FFS unless you're really rich I'd shop around. Who the hell are your lawyers - some top London firm?

NAR4 Tue 19-Apr-16 09:51:32

Thankyou ladies. What an eye opener! From the figures you have all given, my solicitor seems to be doing her best to put me off going to court/taking the piss. Def don't feel confident enough to self represent and with 5 children and 2 jobs, would severely struggle to find time to sort anything myself. Think I'll start with asking for a breakdown of costs, then maybe start looking for a new solicitor if they are ridiculous. I'm really happy with my solicitor otherwise. Think she is just getting sick to death of it rumbling on, herself too.

juneau Tue 19-Apr-16 12:57:09

She's sick to death of being paid to do her job? Sorry, but that doesn't sound right. Your XH may well be being a complete arse, but your solicitor is being paid to represent you and get the best possible deal for you from this divorce. If she's fed up of representing you then you should find someone who is willing to do that job with a decent attitude and without costing you a fortune in the process. If you plonk £30k in her account at the outset I very much doubt whether you'll ever see a penny of it again, because its human nature to think 'right, we've got £30k in the bank, how shall we spent it?'

Gawarngawarngawarngawarn Thu 21-Apr-16 07:32:00

I have a similar problem at the moment - without going into huge amounts of detail, we've ended up having to apply for a child arrangements order and self-represent. Apparently about 70-80% of parents self-represent in this situation these days, as not many people can afford solicitors fees. There are some really useful videos on youtube about self-representation and the procedure of going to court, and it's worth looking up the Child Arrangements Programme, which tells you the process of going to court.
We applied last week and haven't actually had to pay anything yet, but will be invoiced £75 for the mediator to sign the form to say that we had tried mediation, and the order will be £215.00. It's interminably slow though, and each day drags on with no news, but thankfully, a kind poster on here informed me that it should take around 6 weeks from the application being made to having the first hearing.

NAR4 Mon 25-Apr-16 17:45:20

We have a consent order that was provisionally written upon both our agreeing the terms, at mediation. My ex had his solicitor make some changes which I didn't agree to, so I refused the changes and requested it was written up as agreed at mediation. A different consent order was written up by my ex's solicitor 2 more times. My ex has now said he is withdrawing the consent order and will not agree to anything.

If I go to court is the judge likely to simply say the consent order we both originally had written up and agreed at mediation, should be stuck to and then enforce that? Would ex be able to push up costs and the time involved by arguing he doesn't agree, or does the judge just make their own decision regardless, straight off? Does anyone know a rough guide on timescales involved, how many times I would be likely to have to go to court, any costs involved etc. I emailed my solicitor for these and she simply said she would contact ex's solicitor again to see what was going on and that the timescales for taking it to court were very lengthy.

Court really does seem to be the only way to take this forward at the moment.

Laura812 Mon 25-Apr-16 21:23:48

Courts differ but most are very very busy and I expect it might take weeks. In many divorces it can be 12 months before you get to a final hearing on finances and usually have an interim hearing first. You would be putting your side of things at the hearing and his lawyers his as you both argued over the details. As far as I know until you both sign an agreement or the court seals a consent order either party can back out even if matters were verbally agreed at a mediation.

inchoccyheaven Tue 26-Apr-16 00:11:05

I was given a breakdown by my solicitor of fees for going to court and his worse case scenario would have been £25k which I would have had to borrow from a divorce loan company Novitas. I have so far put off applying in the hope ex and I can reach agreement but its taken 2 years so far!!
I know that even if he got told to sell the house that he would faff about for as long as possible so I would be no better off.

NAR4 Tue 26-Apr-16 10:01:31

Laura812 I can live with it taking 12 months. At least then, the end would be in sight and it will then finally all be over. It's the spiralling cost of going to court that is putting me off.

inchoccyheaven scarey costs. Never heard of divorce loan companies. Will def have a look now. Not ideal getting a loan, but needs must.

Thankyou ladies.

inchoccyheaven Tue 26-Apr-16 12:58:42

Nara4 as far as i remember you ask to borrow a certain amount but only take what is needed as and when. I am really hoping not to go down that route but i think sadly it is common if you don't have other ways to raise the money. Good luck.

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