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I'm not strong enough for this

(2 Posts)
sadandfrightened Mon 18-Apr-16 11:22:14

We're effectively separated but living in the same house. DC are 7 and 4. I have bipolar disorder and H deals with my condition well.

He's supportive and just wants us to get along. I'm so irritable with him, convinced the stress of our bad relationship is aggrevating my illness.

I'm so worried about the effect of this disharmony on the children but I don't think I could manage without him. He helps with the kids and provides for us.

He has no libido. I miss sex. I want to be with someone I love and respect. I want to feel like a real husband and wife but it's been 4 years of this. I hate pretending we're ok, it feels so wrong and is v stressful.

How the hell do I get the confidence to start over without him? I couldn't bear seeing the kids suffer without their dad, the guilt would be too much. It's me instigating all of this, it angers me that he wants to stay.

MrTiddlestheFatCat Mon 18-Apr-16 21:25:48

I didn't want to read and run, but I'm not sure how much advice I have to offer you really.

I'm sorry that you're not happy though flowers

Is it that you want to start over with someone new/on your own, or would you like things to go back to how they were with him?

Really a case of whether you want to work on it, or work on leaving.

I have always believed that children are better off with two happy, healthy parents, rather than two miserable parents who have stayed together for the kids. I don't think they will suffer- it will be a big change and that's the hardest part, but they will still see him and if you're not happy, it will be better in the long term.

It sounds like you both have a lot still to talk about this- is he in denial and quite resistance about it all?

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