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Divorce advice please!

(13 Posts)
greebstreebling Tue 12-Apr-16 17:01:46

Am I being crazy contemplating starting divorce proceedings without using a solicitor? I've taken advice but I basically can't afford to use her for the whole process at the prices she is quoting. £800 for a fixed fee straightforward divorce, £550 court fees plus £1000 (estimated) for a financial order.

The actual divorce bit is just paperwork, right? Do I have to declare anything about finances on there? I can't imagine the divorce is going to be straightforward as we have two children and a property but will I be alright doing the initial paperwork myself? Or should I just stump up the cash?

Fourormore Tue 12-Apr-16 17:04:18

You shouldn't do the divorce without doing the finances. If your decree absolute comes through before finances are resolved, you can weaken your position for certain things I think. Perhaps pay her to do the financial stuff and then do the divorce bit yourself?

greebstreebling Tue 12-Apr-16 17:46:45

We definitely need to sort the finances out - I can't imagine he's going to agree to anything I propose but could I sort out the actual divorce paperwork myself and then sort the financial settlement with the solicitors help?

Fourormore Tue 12-Apr-16 17:54:23

Yes just make sure the finances are done first.

babybarrister Tue 12-Apr-16 20:59:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greebstreebling Tue 12-Apr-16 21:10:32

Do you recommend I sort one out before the other? Or do both at the same time?

Eustace2016 Tue 12-Apr-16 21:52:49

Yes, for example you cannot get an order to claim a share of his pension (often the biggest asset some couples have) or he of yours after decree absolute so you should make sure you don't get the divorce finalised until you've agree finances with him and the court sealed an agreed consent order OR the judge makes an order over the finances in a contested hearing if you cannot agree.

If you both work full time and earn about the same and will have children half the time each then something like 50% of your joint assets is a reasonable start but we all differ. I earn 10x my ex so I paid him more than that.

Minime85 Wed 13-Apr-16 06:53:00

Easy to do divorce yourself and will cost you £410 and the cost of stamps to post. The finances, if you aren't amicable and don't agree maybe more tricky. The advice is to get them in order before absolute and after nisi comes through. I didn't but ex and I agreed finances equally and paid an on line company to do our consent order for £190 all in. You have to get value of house and pension statements and declare earnings. We worked out maintenance using gov on line caluculator. Judge never questioned it as we made sure it was fair although I got more

greebstreebling Wed 13-Apr-16 11:12:38

He doesn't have any assets or income. The house is in my name and I am the only one who has a pension. sad

Jadelaurenx Wed 13-Apr-16 13:06:48

Me and my husband have been seperated for three years this April we have a little boy together who he does not see. I am wanting to start divorce procedures but being a single parent I can't afford the quotes I've been given! Where do I start?!

Eustace2016 Wed 13-Apr-16 21:44:05

Greeb, he might well have a claim against you financially so it would be cheapest if you and he could agree a fair split and then get that as a clean break with no maintenance paid by either to the other and have that sealed by the court in a consent order.

charlotteholloway Thu 05-May-16 13:38:19

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lifeisunjust Fri 06-May-16 07:37:27

Eustace2016 it is completely untrue about not being able to get an order for someone's pension post-divorce.

My husband fled to the UK, lied on court forms and filed for divorce - he had claimed he is a woman and he had also committed adultery 12 hours after meeting someone online (who then cheated on him 4 weeks later and got pregnant, a school teacher too great morals looking after kids). Anyway, he fled to the UK, he lied on the forms claiming he'd left me 12 months earlier and claiming he'd been in the UK 12 months, in order to file. He then waited till I had been hospitalized and got a decree nisi and absolute, despite my objections from a hospital bed and the court never replying to emails I could barely write due to hospitalization. The judge apologized at the financial hearing 12 months later for the staff refusing to process my calls it was unfair and I did not agree with divorce when it is lies about which country my husband lived in and lies he admitted to about when he'd left me and furthermore it was HIS ADULTERY and the worst he wrote on his petition was "she called my father evil" which indeed I did say, but in response to phoning up his dad to tell him his beloved son had just beaten me up and threatened to kill me and that his son was currently in a police cell for beating me up and he could contact the police station to talk to him, his dad replied "XXX had good reason to beat you up".

Anyway, he got his divorce, despite his lies which he later admitted under oath to the judge he'd lied about to get around the residency rules and when he'd left me. Then he tried to force a house sale of home in UK. He filled in all the court forms with narrative stating he wanted 55% of all family assets and house sold as part of that (justification, where he was now living a 5 bed house needed to buy that house, so needed more money as a single man that the wife and 4 children he abandoned and said under oath we 5 should move down to a 2 bed rental to pay for the 55% we had to give him). The judge disagreed. He awarded me 63% of family assets, in that I got the house and 40% of my husband's pension which equalized our joint value of pensions. I am the proof you can take part of someone else's pension share post divorce.

Greebsteebling if the only asset is the house and your husband has no income and you do, expect the assets which exist to be shared from 50/50 starting point and then consideration of individual needs will perhaps change the percentage. You'd be a fool not to see a solicitor about the finances. Before going, list all assets.

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