Financial settlement

[Winniethewylde]

After 2 joint mediation sessions I now have a full financial disclosure document. I am seeing my solicitor next week to start discussing the settlement but I have absolutely no clue how this is going to work. Can anyone tell me what I can expect from this appointment with my solicitor and what he will need?

I've looked a the divorce calculator on wikivorce but how on earth am I meant to know what my outgoings will be or what my exh outgoings will be? Is it literally a shot in the dark? I obviously have all the calculations for now which is for the 4 of us (2dcs) but how do I work it out?

Honestly, I may sound stupid but I'm utterly clueless on this and people keep saying the importance of getting all your figures right but I'm petrified. Financial abuse/control is one of the reasons for our divorce so I'm so anxious about getting it right but really don't know where to start. Will the solicitor expect me to go in with a figure of what I need to live on?

Sorry if all this makes no sense but I'm in a bit of a panic after burying my head in the sand a bit.

[Eustace2016]

You can start with looking at what you both earn after tax - your net incomes. It is difficult to advise without rough figures. I earned 10x my ex and I always did both our tax returns. i suspect your own position is utterly different.

If you earn less than him then you need to think about whether you will have a clean break (which means you both divide capital by some % and do not make financial claims over that such as regular maintenance from each other) and then whoever has the children least pays something towards the children. Or no clean break and one of you pays maintenance to the other adult.

In either situation you need to work out where you will live (eg will you buy him out of the marital home or will he buy you out or will it be sold and you both rent) and if you rent how much rent you each need for a 1, 2 or whatever place. You can look those up on line. Then work out what is average heating, council tax, electricity, mobile phone bills and food. Every divorce differs. If your spouse earns £1m a year and you all go on £20k ski holidays and have a £30k a year nanny then those are part of the costs. If he earns £30k and yo both live off that and have a holiday in a caravan in Wales out of season if you are lucky then you work to that kind of standard of living.