I have no idea where to begin

(6 Posts)
HumanQualities Wed 30-Mar-16 21:25:47

My husband and I separated a year ago, initially on a trial basis, until he decided that shacking up with my (now former) best friend would be a better option for him. We have no assets to split, no child arrangements to sort out (I have a daughter from a previous relationship, exh has no interest in continuing contact with her) and I don't really earn enough to get a solicitor, is it possible to sort out a divorce by myself, or should I scrimp by and save up to get a solicitor to do the legwork for me as I have no idea where to start with this at all.

Minime85 Wed 30-Mar-16 22:18:38

Yea you can do it yourself for £410 you can google examples of unreasonable behaviour and file on that basis. Or wait two years and if he won't contest can file for 2 yr separation. The finances have to be done separately but the divorce itself easy and quick to do flowers

HumanQualities Wed 30-Mar-16 22:50:33

Definitely don't want to wait 2 years for a clean break. On the plus side (sort of) there's nothing financially that needs to be seen to, we could never afford to buy a home together or even save, no joint accounts, and all property division was sorted soon after I found out about the OW situation.

Minime85 Thu 31-Mar-16 09:57:44

You still have to separate financially or say you came into some money years later he could claim for that if you haven't. That can be done on line for about £150. My exh and I did it that way. For divorce then you need about 5-6 reasons for unreasonable behaviour in the 6 months leading up to the split and you can also put fact he hasn't lived with you since whatever date and that he now lives with someone else. You have to word it non emotionally and use words defendant and petitioner. You would be the latter. You can download the forms from the government website.

HumanQualities Thu 31-Mar-16 13:28:38

Oh gosh, I had no idea, I just thought a divorce would be that and then done and dusted (overly optimistic, clearly.) I still have no idea what to put as actual grounds for unreasonable behaviour as it was more a slow burn out and then one day he didn't love me anymore. We're fairly amicable I think, despite everything, so I'm considering asking if he wants to meet up and discuss so we're on the same page, or is that a terrible idea?

Minime85 Thu 31-Mar-16 15:01:29

if you think it would help gets things sorted it might not be a bad idea. My ex and I split cost of it all so for divorce and finances it was probably £300 each. He saw paperwork before it went off so not a shock. I said things like he said he didn't love me anymore, lack of physical affection, not being allowed to socialise, leaving the family home and not living there since a certain date. Mine were not at all awful. A couple of specific arguments I added in and dated but again nothing awful. It went through no problems. For finances you will both need to get pension statements/settlements as part of it and you have to declare what you earn. I had child maintenance in mine but again we did it ourselves and the judge agreed it.

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