Child care costs(6 Posts)
Currently in process of doing financials which is not going well because of STBEH's determination to financially screw me over. (And yes he has admitted that!).
My current problem is that he will only commit at the most to one day help per week in the holidays. This means that I need to find childcare so I can work. Wasn't a problem when we were married as he wanted me to stay at home. Now of course he thinks I can somehow find a career and support the children with little help. Is the childcare in holidays my financial responsibility? Because if so it will eat up most of my child maintenance for 13 weeks a year. I've asked my solicitor but she hasn't replied yet. I suggested to STBEH that he could pay half the childcare costs (peanuts to him) he refused.
It's times like these I wish the RP could 'opt out' of care during holidays and other inconvenient times so the NRP can see how unreasonable and unhelpful they are being. Put them on his doorstep and drive away for a fortnight. (This has nothing to do with children but the total lack of consideration for the other parent is gobsmacking.)
What a prick.
I wouldn't be so cruel on my children as to leave them with him for a fortnight!!
He thinks he is being super helpful saying he will have them for one day. When he will work from home. But of course can't tell me what day even until a few days before which is really not much use to me.
I had it in my consent order that my XH would pay 50% of all childcare bills.
Nothing to do with maintenance - although I actually don't claim that for my own reasons.
I suggest you propose similar, and have it legally binding.
Why shouldn't he pay 50%? Maintenance calculation is about housing and feeding a child, it allows nothing for childcare.
Hardball, put it in the consent order. No crap about 1 day a week either - as you say, it's not use to you.
If he wants to have them one day a week - great, his 50% will be lower that holiday. As will yours.
Tell him If he won't contribute to childcare costs you can't afford to work and therefore will need a greater percentage of the marital assets to compensate.
Our consent order says I pay (and I pay all the school fees) as I earn more. I think you can't generalise as it depends on the family. Lots of parents who both earn about the same will split the cost of a nusery or nanny 50/50 down the middle or even share the nanny between both parents and she moves between their homes.
Hedda sums it up. The bottom line is if you cannot work then he will have to give you more of the equity from the house or more spousal maintenance.
I was particularyl cross that my ex got such a bit capital settlement from me - 60% - he earned less plus chose not to have the children even one night a year - appalling; and finally that he would be off from mid July to mid September (teacher, private school) so 8 weeks of holiday an dnot have the chidlren for a week and I would be working all but one of those weeks full time and in the other taking his chidlren on holiday at my expense and have to pay full time childcare for the other 7 weeks and that was just the summer.
Perhaps he could hire a summer au pair who would live at your house and his house from July to September to cover the school holidays who would then be looking after the children all summer whilst you both worked and as he hired her he might feel happier about that as he pays her direct and the money doesn't come to you.
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