I think I'm going to have to leave him

[Hatts0549]

Help,
I'm really upset that I am having to write this so please bear with me.

My husband and I have had a rough ride we fell in love 2009 got engaged after a few months, after going through a rough time together, I had a mental health condition I was in aware of and it caused relationship insecurities. I had had a tough unstable family time growing up and had been raped at 15 years old. I had a lot of mis trust and made a few very silly mistakes. One which I very regrettably ended up in prison for (I owned up to it and took full responsibility, it was theft from employer). Throughout that time I worked my hardest on my mental health illness and my fiancé stood by me 100%. We would argue at times because of my insecurities that I desperately tried to control. In 2011 we got married on a clean slate. We wanted to start a family so started trying straight away and found I became pregnant in March. We found a new family home and started a great family life. I was to be a stay at home mum and was unbelievably in love with my daughter and husband. But my insecurities still caused a problem more because of the mistake I had made. My self esteem was very low. I vowed to my daughter to never bring her up like I had been brought up. I couldn't love her enough.
My husband doesn't understand emotional things at the best of times and I guess he was growing very tired of my insecurities even though he understood where they came from. He was getting tired of the questions. I sort help again for the sake of my daughter and husband and had counselling. It did the world of good and summer last year I had everything under control.
This year I collapsed and they discovered a cyst. It played havoc with my hormones and recently had it removed as it burst.

My husband feels it's one thing after another and when is it going to end.
I feel everything is finally sorted it's been tough but wanting to get on with life.
I think my husband has given up. I think deep down he feels it's over and doesn't love me like that anymore.
I'm worried I do not want to lose him and he knows. My main worry is that if he wants me to leave I won't have a leg to stand on. He will use my mental illness and background as a means to keep my daughter and carry on life with out me. He'll use all my insecurity times against me saying I make him miserable.

I want nothing more than to make him happy but I don't think it's me he wants anymore.
If I leave how would I go about somewhere to live etc. I have nothing at all.
Please help me.

[Minime85]

I think as hard as it may be you need to have a proper conversation with him. Marriage is about seeing each other through everything and he needs to have signed up for that. Citizens advice is best place to start if it is to be a separation.