Dh is planning to leave. He will leave myself and children (high school age) and go to work elsewhere. I have very little income (erratic and low-paid - comes under the tax threshold). I gave up my career (stupidly) to support his and look after the children. I have a paltry pension (am middle-aged) and have no idea if I will be able to get a better job.
I'm very scared as to what will now happen financially. He said he will rent a flat (not locally) but will still financially pay the mortgage and rent on his new place and financially provide for the children (he will find this a stretch - we struggle now).
I have some questions:
- I have no idea what I might be entitled to re any benefits until I can get a better- paid job (I am trying to retrain by doing a vocational course but there is no guarantee of a job at the end, of course). In fact, I have no idea of how the benefit system works - or even if it helps people in my position. Can anyone enlighten me as to what benefits may be claimable?
- Is the fact that ex-dh has said he will pay the mortgage and provide financially for the children taken into account? I suspect he won't do this in any effective way as he abdicates responsibility for financial affairs of the home to me anyway so has no idea about how much kids cost. Although this tripped off his tongue, I suspect it was said to alleviate any guilt he feels in abandoning us rarher than being based on a financial calculation of outgoings and incomings.
- What do I need to evidence to the benefit office that we are separated? Separate bank account? Proof of him having moved away and left us?
My head is spinning and I'm so worried that myself and children are going to really suffer.
I know people talk about 'getting their ducks in order'. I have really no idea of what these 'ducks' are...