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Clean break vs child maintenance

(6 Posts)
shrubbery Wed 02-Mar-16 11:03:29

I am currently trying to separate from my partner. We are not married.
We have a child together. I have been a SAHM for the 6 years since he was born. I am about to start work in order to support myself and our son.
We have a mortgaged house together. When buying the house, I put in a larger deposit and paid stamp duty and solicitors fees etc.
Until I had our son, I always paid 50% of the mortgage and bills.
My partner has always (since we met) earned at least double what I have.
When I start my new job, he will be earning significantly more in one day that I will in a whole week of full time work.
He has a company that consists of just him. He has no overheads as he either works on site or from home. I think that he pays himself a minimal salary and dividends as and when on top of that.
From what I know of him, he will have no intention of being reasonable when we split, something he is still resolutely saying will not happen.
I do not want to be at his mercy over anything once I finally get away from him, including child maintenance payments. I think that working full time and being very economical, I will be able to pay the mortgage and bills alone.
An idea I have had, which I think would be to his significant financial advantage, would be to suggest he sign the house and mortgage over to me and that be a clean break - I would not expect or want anything more from him in the future.
Is this a rational idea from any angle?

I can give details of actual figures if that would help, but as an idea, based on the initial deposits and the approximate current equity in the house, not counting selling fees etc and putting what he invoices into the child maintenance calculator, I have calculated that his share of the house would equate to 3.6 years of maintenance. In reality, he would likely make it look as though he earns less than 1/10th of what he actually invoices, so I don't know if my calculations amount to anything.

I do have an appointment with a solicitor soon, but I want to sort as much out for my self before hand as possible.

valL123 Thu 03-Mar-16 11:58:07

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DeoGratias Fri 04-Mar-16 17:22:46

1. Which of you will the child live with?
2. Assuming you although no reason women get children rather than men of course then can you afford to buy your ex out of his half and have you checked the deeds and any trust when you bought together to see if your shares are 50% or a difference percentage?
3. If the child lives with him you will be paying your ex for that. Don't assume he will necessarily pay you anything after you split and the child might be with you both half the time so need for either to pay anything to the other for the child.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree Fri 04-Mar-16 18:11:05

shrubbery, I've come from your other thread. I am not a legal expert, however, I have supported a friend through divorce, sat with her in solicitor's meetings etc.

You have 3 choices with the house - you buy him out with a lump sum, he buys you out with a lump sum, or you sell the house and split the proceeds 50-50.

In my opinion, and having read your other thread, your proposed agreement doesn't sound mad to me. A clean break would be good, and he sounds like the sort of man who may not pay up child support reliably. But it'll be interesting to see what other posters opinions are on this.

You would need a solicitor to draw up an agreement for you both, and transfer the deeds/mortgage into your name. You would also need to check with your mortgage company that they would accept this. Same goes for either of you buying the other out.

My friend borrowed money from her father to buy her ex out, as did my mother when her and my father divorced.

TheWrathofNaan Fri 04-Mar-16 18:24:48

I had a court order for maintenance which has been totally ignored. Money up front would have been better in my circumstances ( I could have written your post!)

wheresthel1ght Mon 07-Mar-16 22:17:57

It sounds like a good idea however you would be better placed to make sure you will be granted the mortgage before you make any decisions.

Whilst you are unemployed or have less than 6-12 months proof of income it is unlikely that you would get the mortgage on your own so you need to ensure you have a backup plan.

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