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Bad day today

(3 Posts)
clashofclanswidow Mon 15-Feb-16 18:34:48

Feeling really low today, trying to keep myself together.

Ex-partner left me at 20 weeks pregnant. Was in a new relationship at 23 weeks pregnant and I'm now 26 weeks pregnant, so all still painfully recent.

I'm trying to keep things civil but he is being cocky which makes everything harder.

He's left me with a lot of debt. Unfortunately it's all in my name due to his bad credit history so basically I am screwed.

I am claiming benefits now which aren't yet in payment. Today he has only paid me my child maintenance and no extra.

I am trying to avoid all contact (other than our children) and wanted to 'let this go' but I told my Mum, who told me to stop being a push over and confront him for more help.

He has said that I have got everything and he is starting over from scratch and can't afford to help me and is now questioning what part of my debt is his.

I wish I hadn't even spoken to him about it now as I just feel worse than I did before.

I am speaking with the debt charity StepChange but I just feel like I'm drowning in this situation right now!

I have amazing support from my family but it's not like they can just write it off and it isn't going away!

I don't even know why I am posting this in here, I'm just having such an awful day.

I should be glad he pays some maintenance at least but he just doesn't seem to care about the situation he has walked away from or what this is doing to our children, one poor unborn one! =( Sorry to vent xx

Mummystar123 Tue 16-Feb-16 10:44:35

I'm sorry your feeling so crappy!!
Hugs!!
My ex also left me with debts ( husband) so I entered into a debt management plan with cap. It a free Christian organisation for getting debt free. Well worth a look! I'm now considering bankruptcy as ex husband hash one bankrupt it's left to me to clear all the debt so solicitor has advised me to do the same. I mom no position to buy a house on the near future so ivehot nothing to loose!

bella1968 Tue 23-Feb-16 10:16:02

StepChange are really good clashofclanswidow, I've spoken to them and decided which debt not to pay, bankruptcy wasn't a choice for me but it may well be for you. You need to bear in mind though you won't be able to get any loan or a mortgage for 6 years so if you are renting this may be your way clear of all the debt.

Things in the moment can look really bad, we keep wallowing in it and it can get worse, you decide how you feel though remember that and us women are strong, set yourself a time period to wallow and then think of something positive and cheer yourself up, we are all allowed a moan, mumsnet is good for that, I came on here just for that reason, to hear others thoughts and hopefully feel better but then read your post and realised that my situation is much better than yours so I wanted to post to you to hopefully make you feel better and say that you can do this, just keep thinking positive thoughts, you have lovely children and a supportive family. Can you ask them to take care of the children whilst you maybe go and have coffee with a friend or take a walk to get a new perspective on things?

Good luck with StepChange, they will sort you out and are really nice and helpful.

Remember, you are the strong one.

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