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A Mesher Order in reverse

(9 Posts)
Iwantmymaidennameback Sat 13-Feb-16 22:50:09

so STBX is refusing to sell the house. I am willing ro rent until DCs leave full time education and leave EXH in the family home that he claims he needs for when DCs stay with him at the weekend.
I can manage in a smaller rented property and get a part time job. Then when youngest DC leaves full time education EXH has to sell the house and split 50/50 with me. By then the DCs won't really want to be going to his every weekend so he can downsize .Also I will need the money from the house sale more then as I will be 60 ish and his pension is piss poor, so the money from the house sale will help me more then as opposed to now, if that makes sense.
Does this idea work or not?

kittybiscuits Sat 13-Feb-16 23:34:02

I thought a Mesher Order is to ensure the children have a home? Not to help stupid exes who refuse to sell?

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 14-Feb-16 08:49:37

Iwant this is one of those situations where you really need legal advice as the whole point if a Mescher order is for children to be adequately housed with the resident parent.

Iwantmymaidennameback Sun 14-Feb-16 09:52:08

Okay so not a Mesher order then. It's something like that, a deferred payment agreement?

kittybiscuits Sun 14-Feb-16 13:23:35

What's in it for you? The aim is to provide the children with a stable home. Since your ex isn't going to be the main parent, why does he need preferential treatment?

Iwantmymaidennameback Sun 14-Feb-16 14:19:05

What's in it for me?
Well it means I don't have to drag his sorry arse through the courts which will end up costing me money I don't have as he is adamant he NEEDS the family home for when he has the DCs.
It also means that I will eventually get something in the future as his pension is worthless atm and I'm too old now to start one.
I have somewhere else to live lined up and it is smaller than FH but it means I won't have to put up with his shit for much longer and it's plenty big enough for me and the DCs.
So when youngest leaves full time education EX will have no reason to NEED to stay in FH as DCs will not be wanting to visit him every weekend so he can sell and downsize.

kittybiscuits Sun 14-Feb-16 14:30:14

I would seek legal advice. You are working around him and his needs and I think it would be a big mistake to keep yourself tied to him especially when he is already difficult. What will you do if he let's the house get into a state of disrepair? What if your circumstances change but you can't buy because you're still on the mortgage. You will probably end up shelling out on a solicitor - whether it's now or later.

Iwantmymaidennameback Sun 14-Feb-16 15:40:52

If he lets the house fall apart then he's only going to be hurting himself in the long run as it won't sell for as much as he wants.
My name isn't on the mortgage now so if circs change then it won't affect me.
However, I take into account that I do need to bring this up with my solicitor. Just wondered if anyone had done anything similar.

kittybiscuits Sun 14-Feb-16 16:59:24

My ex would have done that to spite me. But you know about your own circumstances obviously. I would be surprised if you weren't warned against it. Apart from all other considerations, I was massivey relieved to sever ties to my ex.

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