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Received notice from the court today that decree nisi date is set and...........

(4 Posts)
tornandhurt Tue 02-Feb-16 15:53:05

I feel like a total failure! - that's it really.

I've posted on another part of the site previously not realising this section actually existed.

I've fought so hard to prevent this for a year now and have been met with lies upon lies upon lies. I was doing well for a while, but just crumbling completely now.

I'm in no way perfect here, we had our problems, but in my mind nothing that couldn't be fixed with some hard work. I feel I have so many unanswered questions though.........

He would have completed and sent a statement of support for the petition - which he would have clearly lied on ......i.e. we still live under the same room, still share a bed, still do everything together and are still intimate (yes I'm a mug I appreciate that). Do I flag he's lied on a formal document?

We're also still battling over a financial settlement........his parents gifted a sum when we bought our home which they now want back........never a loan always a gift, so apparently not a leg to stand on but still another layer of stress and more solicitors to deal with as they've appointed their own.

The house is the only asset, there's a sale agreed, house in DH name only, but I have got a home rights notice in place, which gives me a little comfort. I'm battling though as I cannot let the sale go ahead without the financials being sorted. I know there's an option for the solicitor to hold the equity on account pending settlement, but where do I live with 2 dcs in the meantime? - I'm told I can stop that and worst case scenario can apply to court for an order to stop the sale.

What I've asked for in settlement is not unreasonable by any means and is simply sufficient to provide a roof over the dcs heads.

I feel as though I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and a man that regularly tells me he loves me and tries to comfort me, then the following day "BAM" hits me with something else! Will it ever end?

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Tue 02-Feb-16 16:46:48

Sorry you're having such a horrible time OP, sounds grim.

It doesn't sound like you need any advice, and I haven't seen your other posts. But is the end being in sight slightly positive because then, whatever happens, you'll all be able to move on?

I'm confused by your husband being the one pushing things forward but claiming he still loves you, he sounds very manipulative.

Do you have your own lawyer?

westendgirlx Mon 08-Feb-16 05:35:48

My husband and I have been separated for 16 months now. We have no separation agreement because he wants me to sign over the house without him paying me a penny! He also does not want me to have half his pension, despite us having been married twenty years and me supporting him all the way with his career! He won't agree to maintainence of £300 per month which my lawyer says is fair. Despite rejecting his offer of £120 per month maintenance, he continues to send me cheques for this amount every month which I don't cash even tho money is tight because I haven't agreed to the amount! He says he wants 50:50 access to our daughter, which I don't agree with. We had this arrangement for two months and then he suddenly stopped it via a text! Now he tells my lawyer that he wants 50:50 back! When he did have 50:50, he mostly sent our daughter to his mum's anyway! He is also laying claim to my car, despite having one of his own and has asked for rent for the period that I lived in our house together after our separation!! I eventually moved into a rented house with our daughter because I was so sick of it all!

He won't change his mind about anything and he won't go to mediation!

I can't petition for divorce til October because of the two year separation rule. I'm thinking about petitioning on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, but really worried that he will hit back by being even more unreasonable in court. He has already emailed my lawyer with a few lies about me.

Any thoughts?? I am afraid of a long drawn out divorce, costing me loads of money.

TooSassy Mon 08-Feb-16 05:51:40


Slow down. The most important question. Do you have a lawyer? You sound as though he's some sort of juggernaut coming through your world and demolishing it. Which he may well be doing. Do you know if legally he can do all of this?

How old are the DC's? Are they his DC's?

You need legal advice and ASAP. If the Nisi date has come through, that means you have also returned forms to the court not contesting his petition.

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