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'unreasonable behaviour'

(18 Posts)
ticket123 Wed 27-Jan-16 22:58:32

I think this is the one we'll have to go for on the divorce papers.

But I don't like it - one of us has to do it 'against' the other, and it's actually a mutual decision. (We haven't lived apart for 2/5 years or whatever it is, and 'adultery' doesn't feel right either.)

What do I put for 'unreasonable behaviour'? And who'll be reading it? In truth DH doesn't love me, wishes he'd never got married, doesn't find me attractive etc.

It's all very amicable and I hope we stay friends.

I didn't bloody have to justify getting married. Grumble grumble

shoeaddict83 Thu 28-Jan-16 09:54:34

As far as i can tell you need at least 6 examples of unreasonable behaviour to list and they have to be against your respondent, so you cannot say that any were your fault, and a copy of the petition with those reasons in the statement of fact will be sent to your STBXH so he will see them.
Ive heard often of people agreeing to divorce amicably on these grounds then seeing things written down in black and white has changed that.

this might explain it better

so its up to you if you think he will agree to whatever reasons you site on the papers, otherwise it could get costly going back and forth re-submitting papers on different grounds.

ticket123 Thu 28-Jan-16 18:28:58

I think I'll write them and get his prior agreement before sending the papers off. Neither of us has any desire to slow the process down.

shoeaddict83 Thu 28-Jan-16 19:51:10

If you can agree that definitely eases the process! I hope it goes smoothly for you smile

Savagebeauty Thu 28-Jan-16 19:54:08

It is all bollocks. I imagined the judge laughing his head off at ex's examples of my unreasonable behaviour.

babybarrister Fri 29-Jan-16 13:16:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babybarrister Fri 29-Jan-16 16:36:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Minime85 Fri 29-Jan-16 19:17:42

Lack of attention, not inviting you on social nights, how long not had sex for, how long not lived together, saying he doesn't love you. I used all of above as reasons just needs to be in the last six months prior to the split for anything which is dated

Fourormore Fri 29-Jan-16 19:56:39

It doesn't have to be true. Make up outrageous ones together ;)

ticket123 Sat 30-Jan-16 14:45:06

I have a couple of questions I hope people can help with

1. Dh and I have a shared interest in a business. We're getting a solicitor to draw up a contract on that and we'll both sign. Do we submit this with the divorce papers? If so how?

2. How long from submitting the papers to actually being divorced? smile

shoeaddict83 Sat 30-Jan-16 16:18:36

I can't answer question 1, and questions two depends on so many factors-how many cases local divorce unit has and how back logged they are , how busy the courts are, how simple your divorce is, efficiency of any lawyers etc.
My dp did all of his himself as all finances etc already dealt with, used East Midlands divorce unit no lawyers involved, and was 4 months and 1 day from day he submitted initial petition to day absolute came through.

Minime85 Sat 30-Jan-16 20:54:37

I don't know re question 1 either as we organised our finances between us and did a consent order through an on line company. Re question 2 mine was before the days of these new units but applied end of June and was heard in court in October. Had absolute start of December. No fuss ex just signed everything and sent straight back.

babybarrister Sun 31-Jan-16 11:30:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Minime85 Sun 31-Jan-16 13:56:59

My finances were all declared we both got pension statements and house was valued. Was put into legal speak and I have the signed and stamped/dated order from the court. We paid a company my ex found on line who organised all the paperwork. It was £150 and then a 40 court fee.

Abhorsen Tue 02-Feb-16 14:16:55

Minime85 - so did you not use a solicitor at all? I think i need one to sort the paperwork and transfer the house to my name but would prefer to minimise costs as much as possible - there is nothing exciting to sort out and so far h is agreeing with want I want.

Minime85 Tue 02-Feb-16 17:26:39

No solicitor at all other than when I went before divorce started to get some info etc. She gave me an idea of what id be entitled to and what would be needed on divorce. So I went away and looked on line and asked on here and did divorce. We then got our full pension statements declared our incomes etc and did on line calculator re maintenance payments and the company completed the paperwork and sent it to the court. For the house you can just do that through the building society but you have to have an ability to pay calculator thing done and it was just in consent order that I release my exh from house by a given date and he received the small sum we included to hopefully persuade the judge with our finances. I got all rest of equity and took house over and he kept his pension.

PooDogMillionaire Wed 03-Feb-16 13:29:24

It's bloody ridiculous, but you need six 'good' hmm examples of unreasonable behaviour.

PooDogMillionaire Wed 03-Feb-16 13:30:15

It took around 7 months for my divorce to come through, no disputed assets.

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