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DD's do not have own bed at NRP

(21 Posts)
NordicNoirRocks Sun 03-Jan-16 17:26:49

XP moved out five months ago and our DDs aged 5 and 9 stay at his house 3 nights/week. At the moment they are all sleeping in XP's bed, but DD1 finds it uncomfortable and feels tired in the morning.

Do DC's have a legal right to have their own bed at the NRP? I've not found any info on the 'net.

XP and I are on good terms, and XP has in the past stated that he will get a bed for DD's.

TrinityForce Sun 03-Jan-16 17:30:53

Just have a word with him!! You're on good terms, he's said he'll do it - why does the legality of it matter?

Just speak to him. They need a bed, he should understand that.

NordicNoirRocks Sun 03-Jan-16 17:35:44

Trinity thanks for your reply, I will certainly speak to XP, however he's been promising a bed for DDs for a couple of months now, but citing a lack or space and money. I'm wondering if (and only if) I need to push for this, is there a legal requirement for a bed? I wouldn't use this as a threat, but in the past I've found that XP reacts well when presented with facts rather than 'just' my opinions.

Fourormore Sun 03-Jan-16 17:37:56

No I do not believe there is a legal requirement to provide their own beds. If this was part of court proceedings, I could see a judge making it so that overnights didn't happen until a bed was provide, but there isn't a legal requirement as such.

Is there no second bedroom? You can get beds really cheap from IKEA or second hand. Free cycle type sites often have beds too.

Bluelilies Sun 03-Jan-16 17:39:18

There are no laws about children needing beds.

Why not but DD1 a readybed? They're a kind of sleeping bag with built in lilo, and meant for kids sleepovers. Cost about £20 from Argos I think. DD2 is probably OK sharing for now.

NordicNoirRocks Sun 03-Jan-16 17:41:34

Thanks you for your replies, XP shares a two bed house with a mate, there's not a spare bedroom. DDs did sleep on an airbed when XP had just moved it, I'm not quite sure why they are now all in the same bed.

I'll look up readybeds online and put a few suggestions to XP.

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit Mon 18-Jan-16 03:15:54

I thought it was one of the things SS deems as essential.

Not that the OP has any involvement with SS, just it seems a bit odd if one government agency demands beds for DC and another doesn't?

FixItUpChappie Mon 18-Jan-16 03:52:43

I am a social worker and my view is one bed is a first world non-child protection related issue. People have some very strange thoughts on SS hmm

NordicNoirRocks Mon 18-Jan-16 20:30:25

tangerine there's no SS involvement or court judgement, but I thought that DCs have a legal 'right' to their own bed at NRP, especially as they stay 3 nights/week. Seems I was wrong and I will keep pushing at XP to get Readybeds.

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit Mon 18-Jan-16 20:42:56

NordicNoirRocks sorry I wasn't implying there is! I just thought it might be a good yard stick,

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit Mon 18-Jan-16 20:47:12

FixItUpChappie I didn't just make it up!

I got it from a thread here ages ago where a mother said that SS had visited and she'd had the DC's mattresses on the floor at the time as they were playing trampolines with them. The SW made a negative comment in t about how the DC didn't have a bed available to them (not mentioning mattresses on floor).

Other people confirmed that SS want to see that DC always have a bed available to them but agreed this was a ridiculously harsh interpretation.

Since then I've thought that it is a kind of SS yard stick - is that not true?

Or is there a difference between their main home and staying from time to time with NRP?

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit Mon 18-Jan-16 20:47:55

Sorry that should say the SW made a negative comment in her written report.

RapidlyOscillating Mon 18-Jan-16 20:54:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepyhead Mon 18-Jan-16 21:01:23

A single mattress on the floor would be more comfortable than a ready bed I think and could be stored under the main bed when not in use (unless main bed is a divan) or behind the bed.

You also get very cheap chair beds that fold down into not quite the width of a single. I've slept on one of those and it's comfy enough.

sleepyhead Mon 18-Jan-16 21:02:55

Chair bed for eg.

Twistedheartache Mon 18-Jan-16 21:06:55

Lidl had chairbeds yesterday for £39.99

HairySubject Mon 18-Jan-16 21:10:51

Could ex sleep on the sofa and just let the girls sleep in his bed? Or get a bunk bed with a single on top and double on the bottom? Not ideal but better than nothing.

RapidlyOscillating Tue 19-Jan-16 07:01:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Tue 19-Jan-16 07:08:27

I wouldn't give one fig about the legality/illegality of this, but there is no way my kids would be crammed 3 in a bed for 3 nights a week.

An occasional sleepover, yes. Regularly for half the week, no. Not enough quality sleep going on there.

FishWithABicycle Tue 19-Jan-16 07:15:11

If he wants the bedroom not to be too crowded on the 4 nights the kids are with you, perhaps foldaway bunkbeds are the solution?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Tue 19-Jan-16 07:23:21

Don't forget social services are looking at the whole picture in a context of other concerns. A child who presents as neglected AND doesn't have a bed - the bed issue is a problem. A child who is generally well cared for but has to share a bed - the bed issue isn't a problem. That's not to say it's ok, but from a child welfare perspective it won't do any harm.

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