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Advice with a tricky ex!

(12 Posts)
Taylorandnicolesmummy Thu 17-Dec-15 16:33:24

Hi, I have received a divorce petition from my ex which is not a surprise we have been separated almost 6 years, my issue is that he's deducting money from the child maintenence to help pay for the court fees etc but has claimed that he's NOT claiming his expenses from me on the form! I don't know how to handle this, I have tried to talk to him today but he honestly believes what he is doing is ok.

CocktailQueen Thu 17-Dec-15 21:32:02

Is a solicitor involved? Up so, get them to write to him.

If not, tell him that just because he has court fees, the mortgage/rent and bills still need paying!

Could you go halves on the court fees?

kittybiscuits Fri 18-Dec-15 06:33:31

Is Child Maintenance Service involved? If so and you inform them, he will have to pay the arrears and pay the correct amount in future or they will take the money from him for you plus 20%. If not, it's time to involve them. It will cost you £20. You will need to call Child Maintenance Options first.

You don't pay anything towards his legal fees. Ever.

Did you sort out the financial issues in court on separation? Or does he just pay you what he decides, taking off whatever he feels like?

Taylorandnicolesmummy Fri 18-Dec-15 06:52:24

CMS are not involved as he is self employed, I've heard that are terrible at dealing with the self employed. He pays whatever he decides, but almost every month he will try to find a reason not to pay or reduce the payment.

I saw a solicitor but he has since decided to take it upon himself to reduce the amount he pays to recoup some of the divorce cost from me! I feel like I'm stuck I was hoping after I pointed out to him that he couldn't as he put in the form that he wasn't claiming his costs, he would pay me what he owed but he refused.

If I was to email my solicitor would I not have to pay for another consultation?

Thank you

NA200712 Fri 18-Dec-15 10:30:37

OMG what a prat! He's using this as an excuse to pay you less basically. Don't take this laying down! That money is for his kids so therefore he wants his kids to pay towards his divorce?! Use the child maintenance calculator online to see what he should be paying you print it out for him to see and get him to bank transfer you it every time so then its logged proof that he is or isn't doing as they say he should.

NA200712 Fri 18-Dec-15 10:32:22

And I would 100% involve your solicitor on this, I know it may be a bit pricey but they may be able to offer some free advice at the very least.

Taylorandnicolesmummy Sun 20-Dec-15 16:28:49

Yes he had always used any excuse to pay me less, he reduces the payment when he aparantly 'can't afford' it but never pays more when he has extra money... He has just splashed out on a brand new van though! Aside from the divorce issue, I always feel that every month is a battle to get what my children are entitled to, I'm almost at the point of telling him not to bother because i feel that's the only way to relieve myself of the stress every month. The other part of me says why should he not have to pay for his children!
Although we have been separated 6 years and we have both moved on the relationship we have makes me feel so so stressed and incredibly sad for my children 😢

NA200712 Tue 22-Dec-15 15:07:31

Did you ever get anywhere with this problem taylorandnicolesmummy

Taylorandnicolesmummy Wed 30-Dec-15 17:02:37

Hi, no not yet. He's claiming that when the courts confirm that the divorce is going ages he will pay me what he's deducted. I don't trust that he will, I think he will find another excuse not to pay what's owed. Guess I just have to wait and see 😟 x

NA200712 Thu 31-Dec-15 00:17:17

I'd get him to put that in writing even if it's just an email or a text message then you have proof to show the courts.

Taylorandnicolesmummy Sun 03-Jan-16 07:47:14

I keep all his texts as he's said some pretty stupid things over the past 6 years x

fuzzywuzzy Sun 03-Jan-16 07:53:32

Get CMS involved, they will do an assessment and if he messed around with payments they can take money from his bank accounts and seize assets.

As your ex is being unreasonable you're going to need legal help. Make an appointment with CAB to help? I'd get a solicitor and negotiate a fee you can afford ask if they'll only run up to a certain amount and then stop.

Sorry you're going thro this.

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