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How can he see her but I don't see him.

(6 Posts)
Butterfly6118 Sat 05-Dec-15 00:39:47

My ex is coming to see our daughter . He just picks her up takes her somewhere and brings her back. But I can't stand to see him. We've only been separated a month and a half (this will be is second time seeing her. I was able to avoid him that time ) and I'm still very emotional and so angry at him for all he did to me. But he has every right to see his child. He has done nothing to warrant him not seeing her. I just don't wanna see him AT ALL! Next time he can pick her up and drop her off at my mom's house. But she's at work this time. There is no other person who could do it. He's scared of my sister. She's very out spoken and she would not hesitate to lay a strip into him. If I tell him I don't wanna see him he'll tell me to grow up and get over it . I am in a panic attack over him coming. Please help. My daughter knows he's coming and will very disappointed if I say he's not coming . He's disappointed her enough.

LucyBabs Sat 05-Dec-15 00:52:22

butterfly Can you do handover at your front door? No talking just for want of a better word "hand" your dd over to him?

I'm currently agonising over a similar situation with my exdp.
He wants us to be friends, however our spilt wasn't mutual and he's living in la la land..

Also telling you to "grow up and get over it" Tell him to fuck off!

Butterfly6118 Sat 05-Dec-15 01:04:11

Well Last time I sat in a chair with my back to him and he just came in and got her. He came in like he was walking into a loins den and didn't want to wake the angry lion. He was smart . I don't even wanna see his face. I am that angry and that emotional. I guess I could just leave the door unlocked and I can sit in the bedroom and he can come in and get her this all probably sounds stupid. But after what he did and my anxiety being what it is right now. I can handle him. He wants to go to her Christmas concert again another thing that I will have to see him . My family is going to the one in the morning and he can go to the evening. As soon as she has done her part I am taking her home Cuz she will be so tired by then. Does this pain ever get better? It'd bad enough he decided to stay in the area instead of moving back to the city like last time.

LucyBabs Sat 05-Dec-15 01:22:55

I'm only two months in butterfly I hope the pain doesn't last long! So bloody hard when dc are involved. How old is your dd? My dc are 7 and 4

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 05-Dec-15 09:18:23

It is really only a short time Butterfly, I understand the anxiety I was really fortunate school helped me I saw teachers at other times to parents evening, watched concerts from not in the audience ( there were associated issues OW was also a parent and there was verbal abuse of DD by Ex/OW that school knew about).
But it does get better. I think with hindsight I was terrified that he would find another way to hurt me and I was trying to protect myself from that.
After about 6 months. I joined a choir and meet people who had never meet Ex and that begun the process of helping.
Be kind to yourself it is all very raw.thanks

STIDW Sat 05-Dec-15 18:36:29

How old is your D? Could she walk to the car from the house if he parks outside? Would he be able to collect & return her to & from nursery/school if he had overnight contact? What about friends & neighbours for third party handovers?

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