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Child contact birth/newborn

(6 Posts)
tinkerbella55 Sat 14-Nov-15 15:37:02

My STBXH & I have been separated for 3.5months. His contact w my 17mo is v problematic due to his significant lack of care & attention (neglect). He is always trying to increase hrs tho, I think it makes him feel better/less guilty to get the hours in. I am due my baby in 3wks. Have said no to him being at ELCS & don't think baby will benefit from seeing him more than say an hour every other day, if that, in terms of bonding. He also wants to see current 17month old more during his paternity leave. I said no (stick to every Sat & Sun) as too disruptive during what will be a difficult time for LO anyway (new baby, Mum recovering etc). My mum will come & stay. Does anyone know what my &/or his rights are in the paternity leave period re child contact?

MidnightVelvetthe4th Mon 16-Nov-15 13:27:40

I'm not sure, have you thought about making an appt with the CAB or with a solicitor to see if there's anything you must do? Also ask them about making his access through a child contact centre rather than in his own home to ensure he can't neglect them.

tinkerbella55 Mon 16-Nov-15 20:27:40

Thanks, yes I think will get legal advice to try & get some peace of mind before birth.

charlybear7 Thu 19-Nov-15 10:16:26

I was in a similar situation to you back in June. I was advised no more than 60-90 mins alone without the mother around. As to how often we're back to once a week for 1 hour (recommended by social services) as he hasn't had contact for 4 months and they are like strangers. Hope that helps x

tinkerbella55 Thu 19-Nov-15 12:22:05

Ah thanks. I am waiting to hear back from my lawyer, he is insisting on every day during paternity leave, really hope no more than contact on couple of days (plus Sat & Sun). Problem is I am living in marital home which we still co own so I can't stop him coming in.

charlybear7 Thu 19-Nov-15 19:21:58

You can't stop him but he needs to consider you're welfare as your child's primary carer, especially so soon after giving birth. Also if he isn't going to be around much then is he even entitled to paternity leave?! We barely saw my ex and he didn't kick up much of a fuss, strange really seeing as he was living the single life whilst I was up all night feeding, changing nappies etc! Still I know what I'd prefer given the choice. My children are my world and I'd do anything for them X

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