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How much time do your teen DCs spend with their dad following separation?

(3 Posts)
Cyclewidow46 Tue 03-Nov-15 00:11:12

My husband I and separated at the end of May following my discovery that he was having an affair with a woman from his cycle club.
We told our 3 DCs (DDs 19 and 14, DS 15yrs) and he promised to move locally so they could see him often.
He moved out a couple of weeks later straight into her place which is about 45mins away on the M25, so obviously not the short hop on the bus for the DCs as promised.
As he works in the City he only sees the DCs at the weekend. Due to his cycling obsession he only sees the DCs for about 4 hours on a Saturday afternoon. The two youngest have both stayed at their dad's place for one night seperately and one night together since he moved out. The eldest has moved away due to work commitments.
If the DCs are to continue to have a good relationship with their dad is 3-4 hours a week enough? What do you think?
My youngest DD recently took an overdose and is now under CAMS. Our separation and the fact that she misses her dad were main influencing factors. She also said that she felt guilty for meeting the girlfriend but I've said many, many times it's not a problem as I want her to have a good relationship with her dad (even though I want to punch the whore's face in!)
My ex says that as they are teenagers the usual arrangements put into place for younger children are not necessary but I feel he's using their age to basically live a childless life and just squeeze them in when he feels like it. What do you think? AIBU?

TooSassy Tue 03-Nov-15 21:48:18

He sounds wonderful (not) So sorry OP.

I have no advice as no teens here (yet). But didn't want to read and run. Am sure some other posters will be along with some advice shortly.

Hugs to you.

Emochild Tue 03-Nov-15 22:57:18

My 14 year old doesn't see her dad, my 12 year old sees him maybe 1 afternoon a month (same man)

Dd2 goes out of duty, dd1 doesn't see why she should put herself out when he doesn't -he's never challenged it

When they were primary age he had them alternate weekends

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