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Can he really use my house?

(8 Posts)
Tinydesignermummy Thu 08-Oct-15 23:46:43

Separated from kids dad but he has moved into a shared house so can't take the kids there during his contact time with them. He's using this and claims that he is broke to insist on seeing the kids at my house.
When I have been in the house with him he's been acting innapropriately towards me despite knowing that I'm in a new relationship. Also, when I leave him with the kids he contacts me persistently and for no real reason. He's often late arriving for contact times and frequently changes his mind whether or not he will see the children at all.
We arranged for him to have contact twice a week but this is changing every week due to him having to do overtime at work or having social events. I literally don't know from day to day when he will see the kids so I've given up telling them to avoid their disappointment.
I'm getting to a point where it's wearing me down and putting pressure on my new relationship. It's also having a huge impact on my three and a half year old who has been acting out a lot.
Where do I stand with this? I have no idea where to turn for advice. Can I put my foot down and stop him coming to my house even though that means he would have to take them out every time he sees them? Ps he doesn't drive either.

Tinydesignermummy Thu 08-Oct-15 23:53:05

Would also like to mention that while he's at my house he often asks to shower and dresses in my bedroom. This used to be our family home but I have stated to him that it is my room and my space now. He also argues that he should not have to provide meals for the children if they are with him at my house and that its my responsibility because he pays child maintenance. Surely this is completely wrong!? I'm doing him enough of a favour letting him use my house! My engagement ring also went missing when he had been here before. He knew that i was planning to keep it for the children's inheritance but he has a gambling issue.

VimFuego101 Fri 09-Oct-15 00:00:05

Why on earth are you letting him into your house?

TooSaasy Fri 09-Oct-15 07:47:04

Two questions. You say your house. Is it your house (In legal terms) or is it viewed as a joint marital asset? (Which even if the house is in your name, after a certain time all assets are joint marital assets)

If so do you have agreement that you can have sole occupancy?

MissMarpleCat Fri 09-Oct-15 07:52:23

Contact centre. This lying, abusive (and probably) stealing twat can see th there. Don't facilitate his twatishness, don't let him on your house again, especially after the missing ring.

LIZS Fri 09-Oct-15 08:08:05

Agree with missmarple, he needs to arrange time at a contact centre. How old are the dc, park doesn't cost anything hmm is he trying to control you by invading your home?

ivykaty44 Sun 11-Oct-15 21:49:32

He is an adult and its up to him whether he acts like an adult or a two year old.

He needs to sort his own places to go for contact , no if buts

If he makes exuses or says he can't see them then call his bluff and say OK don't see them, the dc won't know anyway if he keeps letting them down

More stuff will go missing and. He will snoop so stop him entering your home now and let him sort things out

Richywalters12 Tue 13-Oct-15 22:58:46

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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