I'm just looking for some advice really. As above, I am 3 weeks into a supposedly amicable separation from DS' dad and things have turned nasty. We initially agreed that I would have DS all week and XP would have him at weekends (I work PT for XP and hours are flexible, I can do them when he has DS) This worked for the first weekend and was ok last weekend, though XP put pressure on me to do stuff as a family and I ended up eating there one night and staying over.
This weekend we had agreed to have a family day on Saturday at XP's insistence. He called this morning and seemed to have assumed that he would have DS on Monday too as it's a bank holiday, including overnight. I countered that Monday is 'my' day but he could have DS until 4.30pm, when I would collect him and bring him here (I'm staying with parents until a house is sorted - XP is in our ex 'family home') I wanted him here overnight because he starts his new nursery on Tuesday so I didn't want to be rushing around in the morning, getting all his stuff together and bringing him back - it's a 30-40 min journey.
XP then kicked off in fine style, saying that I was unreasonable and selfish and DS needs to spend more time with him as I'd had him 5 nights during the week.
So as not to drip feed, one of the reasons we separated is that he always put work before me and DS. He's seeing more of DS now than he ever has!
I asked him calmly not to shout/name call but he carried on so I said if we can't agree this between ourselves with a degree of flexibility then we will have to go to court and get things set in stone. You can imagine how this went down. He then said he will sell his businesses and properties and fight me for custody.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable - I thought I was offering up a good compromise but he doesn't see it that way. I've called off our Saturday 'family day', which I wasn't really keen on anyway, and now he says I'm being petty and cutting my nose off to spite my face.
Is there such a thing as an amicable separation? We agreed at the beginning that we'd still like to do things as a family - days out, holidays etc - so that DS doesn't miss out. Is that a completely ridiculous idea?? Do we just need to get through this difficult stage at the beginning where he's still raw and hurt? We haven't yet discussed a settlement or maintenance and I'm dreading it.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.
Divorce/separation
'Amicable' Separation - 3 weeks in and already at loggerheads
8 replies
LabradorMama · 27/08/2015 13:05
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.