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Divorce- Speaking to Him

(2 Posts)
kupidonstars Tue 11-Aug-15 11:25:41

First time poster, long time reader of the forums.

I guess I'm just at something of a loss, right now, and was seeking advice... or anything, actually.

I left my husband just under 3 months ago after a 6 year marriage, 12 year relationship, in which we lived together for around 11 years. I moved into his home, he's much older than I am, and we had a happy relationship for a long time.

In this time I got a really good job, helped with the house and paid for a lot of refurb work etc.

I have a recent inheritance.

I have not spoken to my husband since I left as he was arrested (it's a lot and complicated story). We could have no contact until his sentencing was over (a fine) as part of his bail conditions and this was held three weeks ago.

Since then (and prior to that) our only contact has been through our respective solicitors. It's painful and expensive. I have just found that he does not intend to defend the divorce and so all that really remains is the financial agreement. He has assets, I have assets, solicitors bills will start to mount.

I want to speak to him (although not yet... I appreciate that he is hurt and angry and want to let some of this settle first) but I have no idea how to broach this. He is not, ordinarily, violent and I am not frightened of him but I do not want the situation to get any worse.

I know if I ask my solicitor they will advise against this (of course, while he and I are speaking they are not making stupid money for letters) but having no spoken for so long, having no idea his frame of mind... I just don't know how to go about this.

Does anyone have similar experience, or any advice? I'd really appreciate it.

ALaughAMinute Tue 11-Aug-15 17:57:07

There must be a good reason why you think your solicitor would advise against speaking to him, so difficult though it may be, I don't think you should.

There could be legal implications - think about it.

Take the advice of your solicitor in the knowledge that all will be well in the end.

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