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Divorce/separation

Talk me through the practicalities

4 replies

RosieProbert · 10/08/2015 20:20

Can those who know please talk me through the practicalities of separating / divorcing

I have started a secret bank account and I'm about to keep all important docs at my mums.
My kids are 4 and 9 months

OP posts:

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Minime85 · 10/08/2015 22:28

Hi there. I hope you are ok? Why the need for a secret bank account? Are you safe? Can you talk to someone in RL?

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Morganly · 10/08/2015 23:44

The biggest issue is where you will both live once you have told him you want to separate but before the financial matters are sorted enabling you both to buy/rent your own places. Are you planning to move out or are you hoping that he will?

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millymollymoomoo · 11/08/2015 08:56

You will need to declare the 'secret account' in the divorce process.

Assuming you are not at risk of violence you need to think about:

Housing - do you currently own/rent. Who will move out while divorce is ongoing? Will you both need to stay in the same property whilst separating? if so how will that work? How will that be financed? DO you have equity in your current property, can you afford to stay there and cover bills/mortgage etc or will you need to sell?

Pensions - do you / your DH have pensions - if so do you have the details of these

Other assets/debts?

Do you work? will you go back to work, if so when, will you need childcare, can you afford that?

Who will be resident parent (presume you will) - will he contest that, what arrangements will be in place for ongoing contact and access to their dad? Are there any practical challenges with this?

Child maintenance - he will need to pay this

No one on here will be able to tell you what you will get in the divorce but you need to think about (as general guide)
Can you achieve a clean break (often favoured)
Spousal maintenance is not always awarded and there is a presumption if you are young that you will find work to support yourself (interim financial assistance likely but often time bound)
Housing costs and arrangements for both parties
What assets and debts are there?
What do you want to happen and is this realistic?

A fair split does not mean 50:50 but often a good place to start - when doing so how does this look?

Answers to these will vary immensely depending on your own set of circumstances