Don't know what to do.

[ArtieDoohoo]

My marriage has been in decline for a long time and husband has been saying that he's not sure if he wants to be in the marriage anymore for about a year. He is controlling and has always had a poor relationship with my mum and when he announced at the end of her last visit that "once again your mother's visit has put our marriage under emotional strain" and that he wouldn't be going to a social event that our kids had been looking forward to, I thought "Fuck this" and told him I was going to my mum's for a while.

I think that this is the final straw for me. I don't want to live like this anymore. However, we have two children that I don't want to hurt anymore than is necessary and that is going to be very difficult. Our home is tied to my husband's job - if we separate the house will be withdrawn (from both me and my husband - he won't be entitled to live in it either). His job also means that he can move location every two years - my elder child has moved seven times before his teens. I would like to move to my mum's for both emotional and physical support, but she lives at the other end of the U.K. from where we live at the moment and I'm not sure where I would stand in being able to move my children that far from their father.

I don't want to demonise my husband - he loves the kids, but almost all of the hands-on parenting is done by me. I am due to return to work in the next couple of months after almost 5 years as a SAHM and I am the one who arranged all of the childcare etc. and am the one who will be expected to miss work if the kids are ill etc.

I don't know what to do and my brain seems unable to stay focussed on anything at the moment. Has anyone got any advice?

[Newbrummie]

You don't want to live like that so don't .... Splitting up will either give him a short sharp shock or make you realise you want to live without him