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access to kids

(2 Posts)
LadyLou30 Thu 30-Jul-15 07:23:58

can I ask what kind of arrangements people have? my husband moved out 2 months ago but seems to still spend so much time here so he can see the kids. he hasn't got much money to furnish his new place so kids can't go there.

anyway I just wondered how it works with the kids?

thanks x

midnightvelvetPart2 Mon 03-Aug-15 15:37:03

I find it works best with an agreement of the access time in place, not with a kind of informal his dropping in after work & whenever he can type of thing.

A lot of people have a weekend on weekend off approach, where parents take it in turns every weekend to care for the DCs. Or a set day when the NRP picks them up from school and drops them back at bedtime, so every Wednesday for example.

My ex lives a couple of hours away so we agree a timescale every 6 months of when he can see them, so sometimes its every second weekend, sometimes every third weekend, but when the kids ask when they are next seeing him I can look on the calendar & tell them. They like a routine like this. We are both flexible though and if they have a party or if he wants them on a specific weekend we will change it around. We swap the Christmas & birthdays, so this year I'm having them for Christmas but exH has them on both of their birthdays or the nearest weekend to it. Then next year we will swap round.

You have to do what suits you, if you are not happy having him in your house then he can take them out somewhere, to the park or to his new place even if its bare. He does have a right to see them but not to see them in your house as you are still adjusting to the relationship being over & its fair for you to not want him there smile

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