How senior do I want my barrister to be? My stbxh has chosen a 'top-of-the-tree' barrister with a price to match. My solicitor says he doesn't think it necessary in my case to go so high, that you can get perfectly good representation at a more sensible price & that he thinks my case is 'quite straightforward' & doesn't need it. He tells me in his many years experience, very senior barristers tend to get bored with 'regular' cases like mine & that you can get keener representation from those lower down. Do you think this is the case? I am penniless (almost) & my stbxh is minted & going 'all-out' to thrash me. His will cost around 6k for the day & the one my solicitor is suggesting will cost me around 1.5k. I am assured this person will do a perfectly good job. What do you think? Do I match my stbxh & erode my settlement by accruing a big bill or go for modest?
Not necessary go for a junior at a good set.
I'd agree, have a junior. Even £1.5k sounds like a lot!
This is for an FDR. We missed the first court date as my stbxh wasn't ready so we're going straight to the second. I'm told there's a good chance we could settle then unless my stbxh behaves like a twat as we're a 'straightforward case' according to my lawyer. My stbxh is trying to 'sledgehammer' me as he considers any settlement in my favour as financial rape.
Your stbx sounds like my stbx. He has said he'd rather we went broke than me getting anything in my favour.
We are have just done a voluntary exchange of Form E. I found so many errors and inaccuracies it was almost laughable.
If you don't mind me asking, how did it escalate from exchange of Form E to a FDR? It seems a scary place to be?
My form e went in on time (because I have nothing it was easy to fill in) He has lots & it took him a long time to find all the paperwork, he handed his in late. Because I was excused mediation on the grounds of his abusive behaviour my solicitor set the court ball rolling quickly, you'd be surprised how fast the date comes round. But, because my stbxh only handed his form e over one week before the first court date, there was no time to exchange our questionaires, so our lawyers jointly applied to be excused the first court date & move straight to FDR. There is no mediation with my stbxh, he will have to be forced to a settlement. He expects to keep all property, all savings & the kids! I'm interested you mention a 'voluntary exchange' of form e, everyone has to do it (even though the men kick & scream about it). If there are loads of 'inaccuracies' on your stbxhs form he'll only make himself look like a dick when the form is revised. Doesn't he realise he has to provide a years worth of statements? Or even more if your lawyer requests it?
Yes I'd go for whatever your solicitor advises.
I would also apply for costs as you can say you were happy to negocitate out of court but STBX refused.
My only advice from personal experience is make it all about the children. You want the children to have a roof over their heads, you want the children to have clothes/shoes, etc.
My ex was/ I convinced I spend all "his" money on having a good time not the kids.
With hindsight I should have hammered him down for more specific items for the kids not just a cash settlement, but hey ho.
It is 'voluntary' as we are attempting to do it through solicitors and get a consent order drawn up through them for a judge to sign off. However the cynic in me believes that he has no intention whatsoever of negotiation and is just playing a game and stringing the process out as money isnt an issue for him like it is for me. Mediation also failed for me due to emotionally abusive behaviour which is why we are now negotiating through solicitors
Why are men so anti? I think that mu stbx will also have to be forced into a settlement.
They just don't seem to get that our sacrifices have allowed them to work etc and that our contributions are equal to their financial ones!! It's infuriating!!
Best of luck and let ua knownhow it goes xx
The most important thing is that you have confidence in your legal representation. Ask to meet your barrister beforehand (ask for a conference) at least a week before. If you are comfortable with them and get on keep them. If they don't appear confident and you prefer someone more experienced then change. Some junior barristers are excellent, some who have been at the Bar for years are not very good. Level of call is not a true indicator of ability although you obviously ideally want someone with at least a few years experience. Good luck.
Financial and divorce proceedings - who pays the fees?
In the divorce itself, ie the process of bringing your marriage to an end, this depends upon what the basis of the divorce is. If it is brought on your spouse's adultery or unreasonable behaviour, you can ask for them to pay for the cost of the divorce.
In financial proceedings, the law says that each party should bear his or her own costs.
Very occasionally, in financial proceedings, it is possible to ask the court to ask the other spouse to pay for some or all of the costs. For example, if one spouse has been extremely unreasonable, obstructive or has been refusing to give financial disclosure, then it is possible to try and persuade a judge to give an order for costs.
OP, a good barrister will get him to pay the costs. Good luck.
Baby, thanks for putting us straight about that - much appreciated.
I am in the early stages of divorce and trying to learn all I can.
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