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Giving children reasons/explanations for our separation.

(3 Posts)
MissSophie123 Sat 27-Jun-15 01:24:21

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet but I'd like some advice please..
I recently found out that my husband was cheating on me, there have been instances of emotional cheating (messaging, photos etc) previously but this time it was physical.
I've told him that I want to separate and plan towards divorce which he is not keen on.
When it came to telling our children it was very hard to decide on a reason to give them for the break up. Up until now we have been a very happy family and I just knew that they would never accept me saying we're just not happy together or similar because they know that we are/were. I took the decision to tell them that he had been unfaithful because I felt it was the only reason they could understand.
My husband is now telling them that he is sorry for what he did and HE wants us to try again and stay together.
How can I explain to them why this can't happen?? I don't want them to think that this is my fault because I won't give their Dad another chance.. To the youngest it seems so simple for him to say sorry and for me to accept that. What a mess sad

TarquinMoriartyGruntfuttockII Sat 27-Jun-15 04:28:45

How old are the children?

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 27-Jun-15 13:01:50

I am going to be very blunt. You are both making the other parent out to be the bad guy you by saying about the affair, him by saying he wants to reconcile. This does not help your children they are becoming embroiled in adult matters.
To help your children cope with this you need to prevent a united front to your children that this is what you both believe is the best thing for the whole family.
My ex hurt me terribly by how he behaved with his affair etc. I have always maintained to my DD that whilst there were complex adult reasons why we were not making each other happy that it was wanting two happy homes that made us split. Whatever he has done to me he is her Daddy and I respect that.

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