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I asked how he felt about getting a divorce and the sound of wind through the tumbleweed has been the reply.

(4 Posts)
Followtheyellowsicktoad Wed 27-May-15 21:57:30

We've been separated for over two years so surely not that much of a surprise.

I asked the question in an email as I didn't want to discuss it in front of the children at handover but I told him that I'd sent him an email.

Since then nothing. There have been a couple of child administrative emails that I've sent - also nothing.

I've finally sent an email saying (fairly politely) that if I hear nothing by a certain day I will contact mediation. I feel this is a little toothless.

What else can I do? I was hoping to divorce on the grounds of two years separation with consent, I'm wondering if this is a lack of consent. Any advice or suggestions would be deeply welcome.

The final detail is that he is a controlling narcissist. And I was stupid enough to marry the fucker

FTS123 Sat 30-May-15 12:26:45

If you've been separated for 2 years then issue the divorce papers, that's what I did after getting no response and delay tactics.

deckthehallswithdesperation Sun 31-May-15 08:32:24

Why bother waiting? It doesn't matter if he consents or not. My stbxdh is a paranoid narcissist. They're unlikely never to suddenly 'wake up' & start to co-operate. IMO too, mediation is pointless with these types. It justs costs money & stretches the argument out over a longer timeframe. I went to my first mediation, found out he'd cleared out all our savings & then got an exemption on the grounds of his abusive behaviour. Now he knows you're seriously thinking of divorce, act quickly & start to push it forward. Fannying around gives him time to hide assets & plan ahead, all along pretending he's not getting involved. Once you've made that shift & got the ball rolling, you'll wish you'd started earlier. PM me if you like, I have years of experience with a severely controlling narc.

Followtheyellowsicktoad Tue 02-Jun-15 12:51:38

Oh thanks you two - had given up on replies and stopped checking.

He did finally reply, with vaguely encouraging noises so I can't see him not consenting. Fts - this has been the thing that has given me pause, what if I applied for the divorce and he either failed to reply or disagreed?

Deckthehalls you are bang on right, he won't change. I'm sorry you're in the same spot. Luckily (ha!)we have no assets and never had shared accounts. May as well get cracking!

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