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can my stbxh demand this

(12 Posts)
bella1968 Fri 06-Feb-15 15:25:26

We have had the first hearing of CAO, an occupation/non-mol and fianancials all filed in court, he started divorce proceedings in July 2014. We currently have an interim CAO of 2 nights a week plus Sundays, as such and with there being a 12 week gap before the next hearing I wanted to take the children away to my family in Wales the first week in easter, he is now demanding that I cannot stay at my sisters and they are not to be separated between my sisters and my moms so that means a hotel which I can't afford! can he demand such things?

He says "you have asked my permission and I have given you my terms" you have your options.


Twitterqueen Fri 06-Feb-15 15:27:30

Um no, he can't. Unless there is a very good reason why you shouldn't stay with your sister? ie unsafe, drunk, etc etc.

girlylala Fri 06-Feb-15 15:27:53

No is the short answer!

bella1968 Fri 06-Feb-15 15:33:26

no she is completely wonderful. Funny really because if he takes them away to his family in Jersey I haven't said they shouldn't stay with my mil who has always hated me, his younger brother who is married to a man twice his age or his other brother who is a recovering gambler!!

He just makes me laugh and boy do I have to laugh!

I did ask him what his reasons are and he said that he doesn't have to give me any!

PopularNamesInclude Fri 06-Feb-15 15:40:04

Unless you are living somewhere such that entering Wales means crossing an international border... you're fine. I take it the trip does not interrupt his contact time?

Twitterqueen Fri 06-Feb-15 15:40:06

oh dear another example of twatman at his best... I had one of those. Just rise above..

UmizoomiThis Fri 06-Feb-15 15:45:25

Hm, you sure he's not setting you up because he wants to take the kids somewhere you'd object to - and he's making sure you have no grounds because you're going to say we can't dictate where the other person takes the kids, and accommodation arrangements, etc. Call me cynical, but I'd wonder if next holiday, a new girlfriend will be joining him and the kids.

bella1968 Fri 06-Feb-15 15:56:41

yes it does affect his contact time as we'll be gone a week which will mean he'd miss 3 contact sessions, that's why I asked if he'd be ok with it.

He said that if I take them to Wales then he'd take them to Jersey the following week.

On the days/evenings of contact I have to vacate my house where the children and I live, last Sunday he brought a woman and her son round whilst the children were in the house. She is a friend from church who my children know but as he's not living there I find this a complete invasion of privacy! At the moment I don't think she's his girlfriend but who knows!?

PopularNamesInclude Fri 06-Feb-15 16:12:35

You okay with them going to Jersey the following week?

bella1968 Fri 06-Feb-15 16:37:02

I suppose, they might have a good time although my dd said she didn't want to go again after last summer, granny had been nasty and daddy was shouty and swearing

DaddyGivesUp Mon 09-Feb-15 23:52:06

If he has agreed to the exchange of time, you to Wales and him to Jersey, he cannot then dictate how you look after them there, unless he has cause to believe they are in someway not safe.

How did you end up having to vacate your house for contact? Are his things still there? Unless he owns the house (not jointly owned) you have the right to have your privacy respected.

bella1968 Tue 10-Feb-15 07:40:39

Unfortunately we jointly own the house, I've had to put a lock on my bedroom door to gain some privacy! But as soon as it was open he took a photo of my room friday night. He is fighting me for children, thinks I don't look after them properly, which is not true.

He got access via the CAO hearing until 27th April however we have a occ/non mol hearing this mth and I'm going to try to get that changed as I have no car after this mth and money is short as I'm paying for everything, he pays nothing since he lost his job again in December.

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