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What's Your Understanding of Co-Parenting?

(5 Posts)
YubYub Sat 17-Jan-15 13:20:42

Wr do u stand legally?
What if u have different parenting ideas?
Are the children happy?
Let's chat!!
Nothing is wrong, i would just like a very open discussion :-) x

KatyLovesKats Sat 17-Jan-15 16:14:19

I think it depends how you get on with your ex-h. If you have a good relationship and can talk about things and hopefully agree, then it should be possible to be flexible about childcare arrangements and attend school concerts together, etc. if that is what you desire.

I do not feel I "co-parent" as my ex-h and I don't agree about much and he becomes very defensive and unpleasant if he can't get his own way. So I really feel I am raising the children on my own, even though my dc see their dad regularly. We both attend school concerts but don't sit together and I try and keep communication to emails so I don't have to speak to him face-to-face.

I don't know if this is the kind of answer you wanted?

YubYub Sat 17-Jan-15 21:30:42

Hi
Funnily enough.
Yrs sounds exactly as mine.
Deffo dont sit together!
I do want the absolute best for my children.
An don't kno what to do for the best !

Rollercola Sun 18-Jan-15 13:31:00

My exh and I co-parent and seem to manage it fairly well. The children are 12 and 8 and spend 2-3 days with their dad each week. We live 5 mins away and we make a big effort to 'get on' for their sakes.

We consult each other if either of us notice any issues regarding the dcs, eg. dd had a few problems at school with her friends. We go to parents eves together and have been to a couple of concerts together - we meet at school, go in and sit together and then leave separately.

I make most decisions regarding school trips, activities etc and I pay for clothes, school dinners etc as they live mainly with me but we I consult him on major things like dd getting braces on her teeth.

It's not easy, and if it wasn't for the children I would prefer to have cut all ties with him, but we decided when we split that we had to do it this way because we'll be parents for the rest of our lives. We decided that if possible we would always keep a united front for anything that involved them.

We both have new partners, and mine is completely understanding which really helps (not sure about his yet) Neither of us live with them yet though so not sure how the dynamics will change when that happens.

Most of all we both seem to agree that the children's wellbeing is very important and we consult each other if either one of them seem upset for any reason, so we know what each other has said to them.

If anything it has meant that exh is much closer to the dcs than he ever was when we lived together. He is much more involved in their lives whereas before he wasn't interested and left everything to me. My dd (12) in particular says she really appreciates that we get on ok and theres no awkwardness between us.

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 19-Jan-15 13:45:10

I attempted to co-parent with ExH that took less than 8 weeks to fall apart. As it was over the summer holidays and we had sat down agreed childcare plan, he then took it upon himself to cancel childminder and leave DD with his alcoholic GF.
We then parallel parented for just over two years though in the loosest terms he failed to attend hospital appointments etc. despite over a months notice ( I would take holiday to ensure I could attend).
He is now a 'Disney' dad.

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