Advice needed re access please!!!(4 Posts)
Can anbody help solve a contact conundrum?
I work fulltime ( Mon - Fri approx 8.45 - 4)
My wife has been brilliant re access but due to pressures at work I need some flex re when I see my children.
Currently I see them Tues/Thurs for dinner and then Sat overnight one week,then Wed for Dinner and Fri overnight following week.
This works well but I find it difficult to always ensure an early finish on "pick up days" due to the nature of my job.
We've thought about after school club but my kids detest it and if Im honest I feel guilty that this will only happen on "my days".
My wife does not want to collect them for me and drop off to my place on my days
( fair enough)
And it doesn't suit for anybody to have them weekends only as my children, wife and I are opposed to that ( children dont feel like they have had a weekend if at mine and my wife doesnt only want to have them for all the "yucky" school/homework/bed/bath/school run stuff in the week)
I know it sounds like we want our cake and eat it,but we just want the best possible arrangement for all.
As the children are school age you could try every other weekend say Fri from school until Monday am at school if that works, or a variation upon that theme. That way there are fewer handovers and longer more settled arrangements which tends to suit school aged children better. Also it means you and your wife have a prolonged periods of quality contact so, for example, you can go away at weekends. By collecting and taking the children to school you could develop and/or maintain a relationship with the school
I've chatted briefly to my DW and suggested
After school club
After school clubs like dance etc
Every other weekend Fri until Monday am (drop off at school)
Cutting or fixing work hours each week ,would have to get employers permission and budget as I have financial commitments all around ( Pay monthly amount to DW for running of home/for kids and pay for my own place etc) .
I could also look at take set role elsewhere on set hours ( or change job?)
She feels its really up to me to suggest how this can be resolved to suit all.
So further thoughts are keep it as it is,discuss further with work and explain situation.
I will aim to set my hours on work contact days, explain its on a week on/off basis Tue/Thur or Wed/Fri)
If any not happy I will have to assess then.
It may lead to cut in earnings if requested by employers to pay set hours but I'll assess that if and when.
Will explain to boys if needs be they got to go into ASC.
I'll give ASC a bell and check avail/flex.
I'll also on call on DW in a dire emerg if that is ok?
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