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Exh engaged to ow...

(9 Posts)
Letitgoletitgo Mon 29-Dec-14 08:06:33

Found out today that exh got engaged to ow on Christmas Eve. Feeling very sick about it all. Wouldn't want him back - he is an idiot who left me almost exactly 3 years ago with a 3wk old and 20mth old. But just feeling very sick and unhappy :0(

Cric Mon 29-Dec-14 08:21:23

flowerscakewine. Xx

DontstepontheMomeRaths Mon 29-Dec-14 08:32:51

That's hard. It feeds into all the old feelings of rejection and loss. He walked away from you with two young children.

You can tell yourself that he'll cheat on her eventually, that you're happy without him and don't want him back. But it doesn't stop it hurting to see him happily swan off into the sunset whilst you care for the children alone.

I'm divorced and my two were young when he left me.

I'm happy to listen if you want to talk some more.

losthermind Mon 29-Dec-14 08:33:20

He's a no good fuck wit who never deserved you
My arsehole bastard ex got married 3 months after we split, some men just aren't wired right
You will get your happy after one day, leave the twat to it flowerswinecake x

tribpot Mon 29-Dec-14 08:44:50

It's time to start practising your 'totally indifferent' face. So what if he's engaged? It makes no odds to you - you are too busy with your own life to care what's happening in his. The only thing you need to be aware of is the date of the wedding so you can plan contact accordingly, since presumably he will want the children to be there (despite the fact the worthless tosser doesn't deserve it).

I appreciate you don't actually feel the way I've described above, but the more you can act that way the easier it will become over time to feel that way.

Letitgoletitgo Mon 29-Dec-14 09:11:15

Thanks. Feel very angry - bloody idiot obviously told dcs at the time but they didn't understand much - 3yo muttered something on Xmas day asking if I was going to get married but I assumed it was just because she's into Disney and princesses etc at the mo! Got forgotten amongst present opening..... Then he or his DP posted on Facebook last night (I couldn't see it) so I had lots of friends texting me to see if I was ok.... Then he sends me a nonchalant email this morning.... 'just to let you know...'. What an arse.

tribpot Mon 29-Dec-14 09:40:57

I don't think the dcs would be particularly distressed, would they? They won't remember you ever being together, esp the 3yo. My parents split when I was 3 (I was certainly aware of the split at the time although remember almost nothing now) and I wasn't the slightest bit bothered when they remarried - not to each other (that would have been deeply disturbing) but within a week of each other when I was just 7.

So I wouldn't worry about them - other than a party it won't mean anything to them.

It would have been courteous to let you know before it went on Facebook but I don't think someone who left his wife 3 weeks after she had a baby is exactly au fait with the social niceties. The email response is 'thanks for making me aware, how does it affect our contact arrangements around the time of the wedding and honeymoon?'

DontstepontheMomeRaths Mon 29-Dec-14 09:43:20

I found it helpful for my friends not to tell me what my ex was up to. It hurt more. But they sound very caring and in this situation you need support.

It was pretty thoughtless of him to tell you that way and for the DCs. I'm so sorry. They don't think about us though, otherwise they'd have never left.

HoggleHoggle Mon 29-Dec-14 09:49:02

I'm so sorry, that must be sickening. It's very hard to think of someone who is capable of such shit behaviour being able to be happy. It doesn't seem fair.
I am a big believer in karma, so I am sure he will get his just deserts. And I am sure you will go on to much happiness though I can see why this will not feel this way now.
I'm sure with the passing of a few weeks this will feel less raw so just keep telling yourself that so you can knuckle down and get through this point.

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