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Divorce, adultery

(4 Posts)
DashN85 Fri 31-Oct-14 21:00:04

Hi, just looking for a bit of advice. I will be going through a divorce soon. I have found out last week that my husband has had an affair this summer, which started days after our 2nd daughter was born. The woman he had an affair with messaged me to kindly inform me of the fact last week (on my birthday!). He however is denying it and says he wont admit to it to court. I'm just wondering if her confession to me is enough to divorce on grounds of adultery if i name her as a co-respondent.
Or would it be easier to go unreasonable behaviour route, as he has done plenty of that including domestic violence, which is why we have been living apart for awhile but were trying to work things out. I would just like to end this as quickly as possible. Preferably with him paying the court fees.
I was planning on filing myself but since he won't admit to it, I will need a solicitor I guess. There is also a complication of me not knowing his address, and he won't share it with me now that I said I want a divorce :/ We have 2 kids together but I doubt there will be custody issues. Sorry for the essay and thank you for your help in advance

Floundering Fri 31-Oct-14 21:24:09

It won't necessarily go to court. Try not to its VERY expensive.

Sounds like the OW was trying to force his hand, so told you but that may backfire & he'll dump her (mwahahaha)

Get your free half hour from several local decent solicitors experienced in family law & DV. Choose the one you feel will fight for you but also that you are comfortable with. You don't have to like them, but you need to work with them & be confident with them.

Keep all communication to a minimum, factual and non emotive (even if you understandably want to scream like a harpie at him & rip his nuts off)

Have you any RL support with such small children?

DashN85 Fri 31-Oct-14 21:37:38

Well she claims it ended in August, because she has a bf and felt guilty for cheating on him, he suspected something went on and she confessed to him eventually, so her bf now dumped her. She also says she left her work because my husband was harassing her for sex. I have no idea why she felt the need to message me. He doesn't want a divorce, he says he loves me, she is lying :/ So he is refusing to admit it, which from my understanding means he will contest if I file?
I just want him out of my life now, my kids are on child protection plan cuz of dv which is why we haven't been living together in the last 9 months sad I was hoping we can work things out but then this happened.
I've been trying to believe him but she's got proof, ie she said she went to a pub to get a bottle of wine with his card on said day, and he looked at his statement and told me that the charge is there but he can't explain how she knows, as he never gave her the card and never been put with her anywhere?! He just keeps saying she is a nutcase and wants to ruin his life...

Floundering Fri 31-Oct-14 22:34:59

I think you can put the he said/she said thing to one side. Hell hath ho fury etc etc

If there is DV and you have had to have a CPP then get the divorce on those grounds , unreasonable behaviour.

Presumably there is police evidence and SW reports? All the evidence you need, he can say what he likes.

But I am no solicitor get proper advice asap and stop interacting with him, except for basics.

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