midlife crisis? separating after 18 years together(2 Posts)
Ok.here goes... I'm 36 and have been with my husband for 18 years so effectively all my adult life. We've been married the last 11 years and have 2 children, aged 5 and 11. He was my very first boyfriend and I absolutely fell in love, he's a great man, a loving father, and my best friend. Sounds fine but everything has come crashing down. Over the last few years, our interests have become different, we never date, we kind of live pretty separate lives whilst still being brilliant 'friends' bringing up the children. We own our own house, have jobs and cars and foreign holidays, everyone thinks we are the perfect couple. I cannot pinpoint when things changed, it's such a gradual build up of many things. My husband has endured several work redundancies, a nervous breakdown and depression but no one had a clue, I was his rock all those times, of course I was. Lately I've started to feel old and realise my own mortality and life is short and we must grab happiness. I live my husband bit we never have sex unless I initiated it, and even then it was maybe twice a year over the ladt few years, the passion and spark has gone completely. I stopped initiatiating, and he didn't even seem to notice so this completely ground our sex life to a halt. It feels almost like I'm kissing a family member if he touches me, I try and avoid it. Yet I love him still so much but not in the way I used to. Anyway to move on, he's busyvwith his interests and work a Lot, to the point that emotionally I probably was feeling distant, we are like passing ships in the night. There are no argents or bickering, just good friends that happily plod along with no romance or intimacy... I thought I could grow old like this.. Until I met someone else who made me feel beautiful, and believe in myself, somethung I do have to say my husbamd has completely taken for granted and never ever calls me sexy or anything like that. I've tried with him
So you're having an affair?
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