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Divorce imminent but I'm worried about custody

(6 Posts)
tonysoprano Sun 26-Oct-14 22:53:58

Hi I have 11yo and 8yo. My husband and it have been on the rocks for some time. He has been on anti depressants as he is very unhappy with his work. He is out of work currently. I have struggled with alcoholism and I am now sober and have been for three months. I'm worried I won't get custody of our children? I have a well paid and highly respected job. Does anyone have any experience of this's?

m5lfh Mon 27-Oct-14 12:35:06

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 27-Oct-14 12:59:01

I have been on the other side as such, so I will give you what caused concern in my case to limit contact.
Have you ever put the children at risk when under the influence of alcohol?
Has a concern ever been raised by the school about you being under the influence of alcohol when caring for the children?
Have situations occurred that are documented legal that show poor judgement when under the influence of alcohol ( drink driving would be an example)?
Is your alcoholism documented with your doctor and is your doctor monitoring your health in recovery (documenting falling liver enzymes)?
In my case my ExH was arrested for drink driving with DC in the car and school had felt he had been under the influence when collecting DC. No health care professionals were involved with him. This is pretty bad and at this point contact was limited to every other weekend.
He then subjected DC to sustained verbal abuse whilst under the influence (I'm sure you would never do this) and contact was stopped. Over a 10 month period contact was gradually re-established first with indirect (phone calls), then supervised, then unsupervised in a public place and so on back to EOW contact.
This gives you an idea of what causes contact to be limited, if he had had HCP involved it would have been quicker.

tonysoprano Mon 27-Oct-14 22:12:49

No none of the above. And while my dr is aware I have no damage at all to my liver. I caught it early. Not sure why someone's post been deleted??

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 27-Oct-14 22:29:37

I suspect it was advertising there have been a few today.
If you keep on your current track you should be fine.

Greengrow Tue 04-Nov-14 11:03:23

If your husband does not work and you work full time then given the law is gender neutral and assuming the children are under 13 there is no reason they should live with their mother rather than their father. In our case we both worked full time but their father probably spent slightly more time with them. My lawyer said as the older teenagers would choose to live with me that is what would happen (you cannot really force a huge great 15 year old to live with one parent when it doesn't want to, although I would have been happy with 50% with each parent).

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